Why ‘ghosting’ a lover or even a friend is unacceptable

Here's what you need to know about the term 'ghosting' or ditching someone without a warning!

By: Anuradha Varanasi | | Updated: March 14, 2016 2:57 pm

The term ghosting is fairly new and not many people are aware of what it means, let alone its repercussions. Ghosting means to slowly start cutting contact with someone you ve been dating or even a friend you ve known, followed by simply ignoring their calls and text messages without bothering to give any explanation as to why you re ending the relationship. Another term for ghosting is the fade away that the urban dictionary defines as the act of avoiding a friend as a means to end the relationship . Also Read - How to nurture friendships amidst social distancing

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Sounds familiar? Of course, it does. All of us have either been at the receiving end of being ghosted or the one to carry out the cruel act of ghosting on someone. While the term was coined recently after the popularity of dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid and Hinge, among others, grew over the last three years, the sad truth is that ghosting is not a new phenomenon. Nor can we blame this habit on dating apps or social media. Whether we re willing to admit it or not, the act of disappearing from someone s life without any explanation whatsoever is fairly common. Also Read - This dating app uses DNA to find your true love

The appalling truth is not many people realize the devastating effect it can have on the opposite party and even think it s fine to slowly fade away and avoid a confrontation altogether. For example, while I was having a conversation with a friend about the act of ghosting on someone, he casually replied, What s wrong with that? You can avoid any confrontation that arises from burning that bridge and in due course of time, the other person will get the message anyway.

Sadly, the harsh truth is that being ghosted on can adversely affect your self-esteem, as you only end up feeling disrespected about being told off without any closure whatsoever. Ghosting someone, whether it is your girlfriend/boyfriend or a friend might seem like the easy way out because you don t have the go through the hassle of having The Talk with them and completely avoid any form of confrontation but it is nothing but an extremely cowardly act.

It becomes even easier to merely fade away from someone s life by ignoring their calls and messages if you don t have common social circles with the opposite person. However, if you have ever been ghosted on you either by a friend or a romantic partner, you will know how you can go on agonizing for several months on end, wondering what went wrong. The thoughts that run across your mind are, are they fine or lying on some hospital bed as of now? What did you say or do that was so terrible that they chose to vanish from your life without any warning? When you re ghosted on you can t help but wonder if there s something awfully wrong with you that caused this brutal form of social rejection. In fact, researchers have found that social rejection can be as painful as physical pain. These are the 4 peaceful ways to break-up with a friend.

How to deal with being ghosted

Remember that being ghosted doesn t mean there s anything wrong with you or that you re not worthy of love and acceptance. It only reflects badly on the opposite person and shows that they either didn t understand the consequences of their actions or just didn t care. It takes courage to be honest and upfront with someone when you want to end a relationship – whether it is with your long-term partner, friend or even someone you went on a few dates with. Don t try to chase the person and allow them to walk out of your life. Don t allow this experience to turn you into a bitter person and focus on the relationships in your life that have the potential to grow and evolve.

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Published : March 14, 2016 7:25 am | Updated:March 14, 2016 2:57 pm

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