6 ways to deal with your ex getting engaged or married

Are you upset, angry or depressed after finding out your ex is getting married? Here's how you can deal with these emotions and get over it.

By: Anuradha Varanasi | | Updated: March 9, 2016 1:39 pm

Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms make it easy to keep tabs on everyone. From your old school friends who have now probably moved to different parts of the world, your college friends, colleagues and whether you re willing to admit it or not, even your ex who you haven t seen or heard from in a long time after your break-up or divorce. Maybe you decided to do some snooping on a particularly uneventful day and to your utmost shock, your ex-boyfriend or husband has added a new life event Engaged. Here’s why you stalk your ex on Facebook. Also Read - Don’t forget to ask your partner's blood type before tying the knot

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Irrespective of how long it has been since both of you decided to part ways, you feel a sudden and intense pang in your heart. The announcement can unleash an overwhelming amount of emotions. All at once you feel profound sadness, anger, bitterness and you re left completely bewildered by your emotions. After all, you re no longer in love with your ex and wouldn t consider getting back with them even if they were single. Maybe you moved on from the ending of the relationship a while back and now you re with someone else. Also Read - Feeling lonely and sad this Valentine's Day? These could be the reasons

You re unable to understand why this news has upset you so deeply and you re only left feeling more confused and even angry at yourself. However, before you get even more worked up over how you re feeling, you could try these 5 steps to deal with your ex tying the knot with someone else. These things helped me cope, I hope they help you too.

1. Understand that it is completely normal to feel upset

Before you start questioning yourself, remember that the irrational feelings you re experiencing is normal. You didn t make a mistake by giving up on the relationship. Unfortunately, the truth is that though you worked hard in moving on from that relationship, the past continues to have a strong hold on us. After all, you were once very close to your ex and knew many intimate details about them. Suddenly, you will start reminiscing all the good times both of you shared together and through these rose tinted glasses, you might forget why the two of you broke up in the first place. You will also feel extremely resentful and morose about the fact that you were replaced by someone else.

Take consolation in the fact that this turmoil of irrational thoughts and feelings is just a phase that will be over after some time. Be patient with yourself because it might even take several weeks. You might feel this way even if you re in a relationship but that doesn t mean there s anything wrong with your current relationship. Researchers say this is why you can’t stop thinking about your ex.

2. Talk about how you feel

Reach out to a few trusted friends who will offer a sympathetic ear and won t be judgmental about how you feel. Talking about your feelings will help in making you feel better and see things more rationally. After all, your friends were the ones who helped you through that break-up, so let them remind you about why it s a good thing you aren t with your ex anymore.

3. Keep reminding yourself why the relationship ended

As mentioned before, discovering about your ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend is getting engaged will make you relive all the good times you had with him. If you have to, make a list of your ex s shortcoming and failings. Maybe he was selfish and a bad listener or had a particularly annoying habit. It will help you in realizing why it s a good thing the two of you parted ways.

4. If you parted with your ex on good terms, congratulate them

After you ve started coming to terms with the news, you can consider sending him a congratulations message. If both of you have many mutual friends and run into each other, then congratulate him in person. It might help you in feeling better. Here’s how to make peace with your ex.

5. If the break-up was bitter, don t contact your ex

On the other hand, if things ended on a bitter note with your ex and both of you haven t spoken ever since, it is best not to initiate any form of contact with them whatsoever. It could only aggravate your situation and it is a far wiser decision to leave things as they are and focus on yourself.

6. Stop stalking them on various social media platforms

By relentlessly stalking them on Facebook and Instagram to see the new pictures your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband has uploaded, you will only end up hurting yourself more. Not to mention, this habit will make it more difficult for you to move on from the past. Instead, block your ex on these social media platforms if that is what it will take to stop you from seeing every single picture they upload. It will help in keeping you sane and thinking rationally.

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Published : March 9, 2016 12:57 pm | Updated:March 9, 2016 1:39 pm

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