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5 things you should never judge your wife or girlfriend for

If you want to have a healthy relationship with your partner, avoid judging her unnecessarily!

Written by Anuradha Varanasi |Published : September 30, 2016 5:49 PM IST

As human beings, we re wired to judge others based on their habits, what they say and how they say it and even on superficial things like someone s appearance. Consciously or unconsciously, we re also constantly judging ourselves from the moment we wake up every morning.

When you re in a relationship, you are aware that being intimate with someone comes at the risk of being judged. While it s normal to judge your partner regarding certain aspects, being in a healthy relationship is all about learning to accept your woman the way she is.

Once you are overly judgmental and critical of your wife or girlfriend s life choices, it is only a matter of time before resentment and other negative emotions start surfacing. These are the things you should never say to your partner. Keeping that in mind, you should not make the mistake of being judgmental towards her when it comes to these five things.

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1. How many sexual partners she has had

In India, where many people opt for arranged marriages and the woman is expected to be a virgin until she gets married, this topic is highly controversial. However, none of us would tell our parents about how popular the hook-up culture has become in India with dating apps like Tinder and Hinge.

It s not uncommon for partners to discuss their past relationships and sexual experiences with each other. If she opens up to you about how many men she has been with, don t hold that information against her. After all, before you met her, you had your own string of unsuccessful relationships and meaningless flings.

If you think you won t be able to deal with her past, refrain from having that conversation altogether. Most importantly, don t make the mistake of comparing yourself to her ex-boyfriends and asking her if they were better in bed.

2. Her profession and work timings

If your wife or girlfriend has a demanding job that requires her to work till late in the night, it is your job to be supportive of her career goals. Many Indian men are uncomfortable with the fact that their partner has to work late night shifts and our society is quick to judge women who come home late every night. Just because she comes home after 10pm, doesn t mean she is having an affair with one of her colleagues. Here are things a man should never say to a modern woman.

3. Whether she chooses to wear revealing clothes and makeup or not

In India, a woman who doesn t wear makeup or short clothes is labelled as a bhenji . If she likes to dress up and show off her legs, she is most definitely a slut. There s no way to win. I have seen how many of my female friends don t wear sleeveless tops, shorts or skirts because their boyfriends told them not to. If you re uncomfortable being around a woman because of how she wants to look, don t bother being in a relationship with her.

4. Her body type

Women are constantly judged a lot more than men for being too fat, too thin, too tall or too short. Before you judge her for not looking like an air-brushed Bollywood actress, take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and be grateful for the fact that she has sex with you regularly. Here are things a woman never wants to hear in bed.

5. Whether she drinks or smokes

Double standards are rampant in our Indian society. It is completely acceptable if a man drinks and smokes but if a woman is seen doing the same things, she is judged for it unfairly. If you indulge in these vices, you most definitely don t have the right to judge her for it. If it s a deal breaker for you, don t get into a relationship with her in the first place.

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