Written by Anuradha Varanasi |Updated : March 29, 2016 5:53 PM IST
Most of us have found ourselves in a situation where we know a friendship just isn t working out due to various reasons. Maybe your friend turned out to be a toxic person or you ve realised you don t have anything in common with them or you just don t like or respect them anymore due to various reasons and circumstances. Whatever it is, the harsh reality is that friendships rarely last a lifetime. Breaking up or suddenly losing a friend can be as much as painful as the ending of a romantic relationship. After all, you ve shared many experiences with your friends and other than your family, when the going gets tough, they are your support system. Did you know, one friend is all you need to overcome hardships in life? These are the 6 signs you need to break-up with your friend.
Despite the vital role friends play in your life, many of us tend to sideline them and when things start going sour, we think it is perfectly acceptable to slowly start cutting contact with them until they get the hint . However, unless your friend is on the same page as you in terms of ending the friendship, you should avoid doing that at all costs. That being said, if your friend is a toxic person who drains you of your energy and self-esteem, don t hesitate to dump her without any warning, if it means safeguarding your own emotional well-being. If none of these two exceptions apply to you, don t use the excuse of constantly being too busy and instead, muster the courage to have The Talk with your friend and break-up with her. This can be a tricky thing to do and not to mention, extremely uncomfortable. These are the four ways you can break-up with your friend so you can end things on a cordial note.
1. Set up a meeting in a coffee shop
Just like you would break-up with your partner, you will need to meet your friend in person. If you ve known your friend for several years on end and both of you had been very close, this is the best way to end your friendship on a positive note. If you are worried about losing your temper and letting your emotions get the better of you, prepare in advance about how you will break-up with her and what you will exactly say. Be gentle and avoid saying anything negative or hurtful to her at all costs. At the same time, be firm with your decision and assert that you think it would be best if the friendship came to an end. This kind of break-up is a must if the opposite party has been in regular contact with you and still thinks you both are best friends for life (BFFs).
2. Send them an email
Not everyone will approve of this way of breaking up with a friend. However, if you and your friend mainly communicate via WhatsApp, Facebook or even emails, it is completely acceptable. Again, remember not to vent out your anger or frustrations you might have against your friend. Be polite, precise and to the point while drafting the message. If they do ask for a reason as to why you want to end the friendship, let them know without being malicious or aggressive. Remember to do this only if you think it can help benefit them in some way. For example, do they have a certain personality trait that tends to rub people the wrong way, but they re completely unaware about it? If you do want to bring that up, you have to be tactful and careful with your choice of words. Don t be hurtful because the whole point of this exercise is to end the friendship on relatively good terms. Read: Is Facebook strengthening or ruining your friendships?
3. Don't stay in touch with them after it s done
This should be obvious, but it is a common mistake people tend to make even after a break-up. Once you have had the conversation with them and the break-up was successfully completed, stick to your decision of ending the friendship and don t initiate any contact with them. Your now former friend will also need some space to cope with the break-up and it s best not to continue being friends on Facebook and other social media platforms.
4. Don t hold any grudges or resentment after the break-up
It is easy to feel bitter and angry about how you were treated by your friend or if you recall any negative experience you had with them. During and even after the breakup, remember and acknowledge their positive points. If you feel you were wronged by your former friend, forgive her for your own sake and move on. Letting go of any resentment or feelings of negativity will enable you to make new friends. Did you know, people with anxiety think their friendship is worse than they actually are?
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