Reasons why men indulge in extramarital affairs

Here is the answer to the eternal question -- why men cheat?

By: Editorial Team | | Updated: November 2, 2018 9:19 pm

There are times when we find no rationale in a man’s behaviour whatsoever, especially when he decides to indulge in an extramarital affair despite having a loving and faithful wife and a family to look after. Most of the times these affairs are like those ripples created in the still waters to destruct its peace when a pebble is thrown at it. It is seen that often these affairs don’t culminate into a relationship and dies down their own death like those ripples which settles after a while. Extramarital affairs are just like that. But why do people get into one, what is it that makes them compromise their ethics, morals and fails them at rationality. We spoke to Dr Sanghanayak Meshram psychologist and sexologist, Mumbai to know what prompts men to get into an extramarital affair. Also Read - Don’t forget to ask your partner's blood type before tying the knot

“Humans were never designed to be in a monogamous relationship but a polygamous one. But society has inflicted this norm to attain some semblance in relationships and maintain an ethical socio-cultural scale. But often we fail to stay on the track because at times our animal instincts get the better of us,” he says. Here he chalks down reasons that make men indulge in extramarital affairs often. Also Read - Premarital views about uncommitted sex effects marriage : Report

Opportunity: Most men stay loyal to their companions unless they get an opportunity to stray. “This is why they say you don’t know your partner enough unless your love is put through the test of time. Most men find it difficult to resist temptations when the opportunities are presented to them and give in. It is difficult to ignore one’s carnal desire. This is why they say you need a special kind of determination to stay loyal in love. Love could be the name given to an appeal, a kind of attraction that keeps you hooked to a person but commitment calls for efforts. A man can put in enough efforts to stay loyal and stand by his choices or give in to his carnal desires,” says Meshram explaining that choosing to love a second person alongside the wife or a partner is a choice one makes. Also Read - Emotional infidelity: How you can spot it and move on

“Often these affairs happen with someone known like the wife’s friend, sister, cousins or probably an office colleague with who he enjoys close proximity,” says Meshram. Men who indulge into these kinds of affairs and ceases the opportunity or temptation that come across do have this dilemma and the argument of right and wrong going in their head for too long, “But in the end, one has to choose, whether he wants to wrong his right or right his wrongs. It is his conscience and self-righteousness that leads him to do what he wants,” informs Meshram. Know why men go to prostitutes and cheat their partners.

A position of power: “Most men who are in the position of power indulge in such activities. Here there is less to do with love and more to do with validation. Men in power have a tendency to want more to achieve more not only in their work life but also otherwise. This is not to say that other men who are in a less successful position do not want the same, but men in powerful positions are more likely to get the opportunity to do so. They either enjoy exercising their powers or enjoy the adulation that comes their way due to the positions they hold. Most of them tend to give in to these opportunities easily and love has less say. These affairs are usually egotistical,” says Meshram.

Pregnancy: “Believe it or not while most people think that pregnancy is the time for a couple to bond and stay happy, it is also the time when a man is most likely to cheat his wife. More so if the man has a sexual appetite that takes a back seat during this time. We have to admit that not all women would like to indulge in sexual intercourse during this period. This can make men look for other alternatives and chances are it might not be just a one-time-affair,’ says Dr Meshram.

Monotony: Yes, this is common. Sometimes even they don’t realise why they are getting into an affair while a rational side of them tries to stop them in tracks. “Some men do it for sheer adventure to break the monotony of a happy marriage and most of them regret later because they lose a lot in the bargain,” says Dr Meshram. Here is how to confess to your partner if you have cheated.

Ex-flames: It is a human tendency to expect more out of everything even lost love. “Sometimes an intense extramarital affair might bloom between ex-flames too, though it depends how it ended in the first place. When ex-lovers meet a lot of emotions gets ruffled in the way. Some get into the affair for redemption, some to relive the lost moments. But whatever it is extramarital affairs do tend to take away more from a man’s life than what it is able to give,” says Dr Meshram.

So, men if you are reading this, know that love stays there where it is respected and cared. It is your call what you want to keep and let go off, choose wisely.

Published : July 14, 2018 4:45 pm | Updated:November 2, 2018 9:19 pm

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