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Coming to the realisation that 'till death do us apart' has become 'I cannot stand being in this relationship' can be tough. Two people go into marriage with a lot of commitment and rosy dreams of a happily ever after, but sometimes reality decides to take a different course and you find yourself heading towards splitsville.
Most of the times, calling quits is not a clear cut decision. 'Maybe it's a phase', 'maybe I can make the marriage work', 'maybe this relationship deserves one more chance', all these maybes can make you confused and frustrated. When do you know that there's no hope left and your marriage is over? Dr Somesh Jhangani, psychologist and relationship counsellor, shares a few telltale signs that your marriage has come to a point of no return.
1. There's nothing positive in the relationship: Every relationship has good and bad moments. It is all good as far as the good moments outnumber the bad ones. However, if you find yourself missing the good times, and your bad times are far more than the good ones, then you know that this relationship will not let you feel positive. Do not cling to a relationship for the few good moments if it has been mostly rough.
2. The idea of infidelity does not bother you: Do you catch yourself fantasising about people other than your partner? If you feel emotionally or sexually attracted to others easily, it is because you are emotionally detached from your partner. What good will it be to stay with someone you are neither attracted or attached to?
3. Sex: Intimacy makes for 50% of a relationship. A relationship can seldom survive without it. If it has been a while that you both have had any physical intimacy, and you don't even worry about it -- it is a surefire sign that your marriage is indeed over. If neither of you tries to work towards establishing intimacy again, it is a sign of irreparable damage.
4. You don't give a damn: You know for sure that your marriage is over when you stop giving a damn about your partner. You don't care about their whereabouts, about what time they'll come home or whether they have eaten or not. When your partner practically ceases to exist for you, you know your marriage is beyond any repair.
5. You constantly think about leaving: What if I say that you can just pack your bags and leave right away? Does the idea excite you? How many times in a day do you think of leaving and starting a new life? Answers to these questions will tell you how soon you need to see a divorce lawyer.
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