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Here’s why you’re going through a marriage without sex

Vaginismus is a painful condition for women. © Shutterstock

Sexless marriage is a big thing across the world and recent studies are giving numbers that are not encouraging at all.

Written by Sudhakar Jha |Published : August 10, 2018 8:13 PM IST

Love and marriage may go together like honey and pancakes, but sex and marriage? Well, that's a little tricky subject! And to check on it, data scientist, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz recently discovered that "sexless marriage" is one of the most Googled phrases when it comes to marriage gripes in the USA.

And in a recent survey, commissioned by the Austin Institute, for the Study of Family and Culture found that 12 per cent of married couples hadn't had sex in the last 3 months. In another survey it was revealed that on an average 20 percent of spouses hadn't had sex in the past year. Here are the top reasons for not enough sex between couples.

Illness: Back pain, arthritis, and depression become more common with age and that makes sex more challenging. Men have a unique libido-lowering concern to deal with erectile dysfunction. And what some men do is that they talk themselves out of their desire thinking that they can't perform.

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Weight gain: It really gets harder stay fit after a certain age, and it's not unusual for spouses of both sexes to find they've gotten fatter. If people put on extra kilos, they may not have as much energy or they might also feel self-conscious about their appearance. Also, if one of the partners gain weight, the other might not find the former physically attractive anymore.

Feeling tired: Fatigue is a symptom of many health conditions, and it's also a common side effect of several medications. And in this age, medication has become quite a norm. However, more sleep could help your libido.

Stress: Constant tension is also one of the main concern for lesser sex, as you cannot concentrate on the act. And stress also triggers hormonal changes that could diminish libido. When you're stressed, the fight-or-flight response in our bodies is facilitated through the same tissues that helps sexual responsiveness, and it tells your body to pay attention to something else other than sex.

Anger and resentment: Emotional baggage in the form of old grudges, lingering hostility and resentment, jealousy, or blame can lower your libido to an extent. While some people get upset at their spouse for things like cheating and lying, for others, 'he treats me like a maid' does the trick.

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