Fear of intimacy can be bad for your relationship: Deal with it at the earliest

Fear of intimacy may be an innate personality trait or it may be a delayed reaction to unmet childhood needs. Read on to know more.

By: Jahnavi Sarma | | Published: March 25, 2020 8:02 pm

Tags: couple relationship healthy relationship

People with a fear of intimacy are often misunderstood. Others may misinterpret their behaviour as anger, indifference or even coldness. @Shutterstock

Many people have an irrational fear of intimacy and this can adversely affect their relationship with their partner. Sometimes, this fear may be unconscious, and you may not even realise that you suffer from this condition. There are many theories as to why this happens. According to a study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, such behaviour may be due to innate personality traits, such as being more of a loner, or is a delayed reaction to unmet childhood needs. According to researchers, infants seek proximity to their caregivers for emotional support. However, if the parent is unresponsive or overly intrusive, the child learns to avoid their caregiver. This becomes a personality trait and as an adult the person may avoid intimate relationships. Such people are often lonely and more likely to suffer illnesses than their secure counterparts.

Symptoms of people who have a fear of intimacy

People with a fear of intimacy are often misunderstood. Others may misinterpret their behaviour as anger, indifference or even coldness. You can identify such people is you know what to look for. They usually suffer from a low self-esteem and have major have trust issues besides being overly sensitivity to criticism. They also actively avoid physical contact and have a history of unstable relationships. Moreover, they may be unable to share feelings or express emotion and may prefer to live in isolation. One thing that stands out is that such people often have an insatiable sexual desire.

Causes behind fear of intimacy

Many things can lead to a fear of intimacy. It can be a childhood trauma or a fear of rejection or abandonment. Sometimes it may be due to avoidant personality disorder, also known as intimacy anxiety disorder, which affects about 2.5 per cent of the population.

What you can do

If you have this condition, you must consciously try to overcome your fear of intimacy. Learn to value and love yourself and communicate your feelings to your partner. If you think you need professional help, consult an expert. There is nothing wrong in doing so. You can easily overcome this problem with the right guidance and therapy.

Published : March 25, 2020 8:02 pm

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