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In the old days when something was broken, it would be fixed, not thrown away. But now, time has taken a toll on relationships and not many of us strive to make them work. So in an age like this where personal space matters more, making a marriage work would seem a little difficult. But, it isn't impossible. Dr Sanjoy Mukerji, Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor from Mumbai, gives a few tips for a happy married life.
1. If you are a couple just about to tie a knot, it is best you undergo premarital counselling. Premarital counselling helps address hot issues before they arise and help you discover the other person. You find out about the other person's likes and dislikes, his/her views about marriage, their family values when they want to start a family, financial arrangements, etc.
2. Understanding the differences: When two people come together it is also their families that come together and the cultural differences at times can be vast. It is important that both the partners understand each other's family and learn to respect them. Also, many a times, there are sexual differences. Both the partners are unaware what the other needs and it can lead to conflict. Hence understanding each other's physical needs is important and both the partners should strive to fulfil them. Another significant difference that matters is the personality difference. No two people are alike while one might be extrovert, the other could be an introvert. In such cases, both the partners must work together to create harmony.
3. The four Cs: Complain, Criticise, Compare and Control, these four C's never helped anyone. It is important to accept people the way they are, Stop complaining, lose the criticism. Also, avoid comparing your partner to anyone, not to your mother or father, not to your ex. Every person is unique and one should learn to respect the other. At times, things might not turn out exactly the way you want them to be, just let the situation be. It's best not to manipulate the situation or control it.
4. The four Fs: The four Fs stand for Forgetting, Forgiveness, Faith and Fun. It is important that to forget and forgive the people in your past when you are starting a new life with someone else. The best thing to do is to let go of your past. The third F stands for faith. When you are starting a new life, it is important to have faith in your partner and the future. The two of you have to build a life together and hence it is important to trust each other. The fourth F stands for Fun. Enjoying every little moment and celebrating the smallest little thing is important. Live in the present and simply have a good time.
5. Love: Love conquers all and also leads to happy married life.
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