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9 steps to have kinky sex without being hardcore

9 steps to have kinky sex without being hardcore

If you don't want to get hardcore but still be kinky, here's what you can try.

Written by Pavitra Sampath |Published : September 4, 2015 5:02 PM IST

If you are interested in spicing up your sex life with a little bit of kink but are sceptical about how you can make the transition, here is a list of 9 things you can do to get kinky, without fear of going overboard.

Things you should know:

  • Before you make the transition, it is essential you talk to your partner and know if he/she is on the same page as you. If he/she isn't interested in the switch, it's probably good you back off. When you have the conversation, be sure to explain what you think about the kinky stuff and how you think it can enhance the experience.
  • Also, nothing is really weird as long as you and your partner are comfortable doing it. While there are some boundaries you simply must not cross (read legal stuff), almost anything you are comfortable doing sexually is fine. So do not let societal norms cloud your desires.

With that cautionary note, here are some things you can try.

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Blindfold him: When you can't see what your partner is about to do to you, it only intensifies all the sensations you feel. The feeling of anticipation without knowing what's coming next can be extremely sexy. So, take a soft piece of cloth (it can be anything -- a tie, a silk handkerchief or even a soft piece of cloth), and seductively tie it around your partner's eyes. Then proceed to kiss, nibble and even gently stroking his body. What makes this even more interesting is the fact that you can give him a lot of pleasure by running your tongue down his neck and chest -- to increase anticipation. Then, move away and wait for him to start wondering where you are. Once the anticipation builds, get between his legs and give him some great oral sex. A move that can blow his mind, the sudden sensation of the warm of your mouth around his 'manhood' (for lack of a better word) will drive his pleasure meter through the roof. To add to the pleasure, you could even use a feather or ice cube on his skin. You may also like to read -- Tips on how to give the perfect blow job.

Gentlemen, you can do the same for your partner, but for added pleasure you could suck on an ice cube and run your cold tongue on her nipples, neck and map a route down her back and tummy. Here's a step-by-step guide to pleasuring your woman.

Spanking : Something most guys love doing to their partners, spanking adds to the kinky quotient of your sexual romp. The slight pain when your lady is extremely aroused, can be extremely kinky and sexy. While, you should start slow and spank her gently initially, you can make it a harder spanking based on her reaction to the move. Best done when you both are having sex in the doggy style, you can try spanking in other positions too, like when she is giving you a blow job. Apart from that lightly tapping her genital lips as you give her oral sex can also be extremely sensual.

But remember to spank on her buttocks. Because of the layers of fat, the pain isn't too much. If you want to spank her on any other part, like her breasts or genital lips, be gentle -- these areas are extremely sensitive and a very hard spank can turn her off. You may also like to read about some kinky sex trends you must try!

Role playing: Be the man she desperately wants you to be. Ask her what her fantasy is -- a sexy sailor, doctor, fireman or maybe something more exotic -- and wear the outfit. Then play the part as you both get it on. To make it even more exciting have her dress up as your fantasy lady. What you have to remember here is that you both have to play the part each of you has donned. So if you are a fireman and she a mermaid, you should be sexy, strong and extremely powerful in bed. While she can be the sexy seductress who drives you crazy. Simply sweep her off her feet and show her all the passion you feel for her. The suddenness and even the excitement of being someone you both are not in real life will have you both craving for a lot more than just one go at this tip. Here's exactly how you can playout each other's fantacies.

Tie him up: Lack of control and the sexiness of having your partner do whatever she wants with you can be a big turn on. What adds to this kinky move is the fact that she can pleasure you and herself as you watch.

Ladies, here's a great tip. Wear some sexy panties, with nothing else on. Then have him sit down and straddle him. As he reaches to grab you, move away, tease him a bit and sexily remove your panties. Use that to tie up his hands. Here are some more foreplay moves that'll drive your man crazy in bed.

Tugging her hair: A person's scalp and hair are erogenous zones, and this holds good for your partner too. Gently tugging at her hair when you both are in the throes of passion can add that necessary zing to the moment. A good way to do this is when you both are having sex in the doggy style. While she is on all fours, reach over and tug at her hair as you thrust. Not only with the slight pain add to her pleasure, watching that you are driving her closer to ecstasy will turn you on too.

Ladies, a good way to intensify his pleasure is when you are kissing him. What you could do is have him sit as you straddle him. Then proceed to kiss him passionately as you hold his head from behind and go on to caress the back of his head and gently tug at his hair. You could also hold his head and run your hands through his hair has he goes down on you. As the pleasure increases tighten your grip -- but make sure you aren't too rough (if he prefers you being rough, then go right ahead by all means). Here's another way to spice things up -- talk dirty!

Resist playfully: A little bit of resistance from getting what your man desires (you!) can help intensify the entire experience. To turn up the kink quotient in your sexual romp, have him throw you onto your bed and hold you down as he proceeds to kiss, cares and fondle you. But when it comes to penetration, close your legs and resist his advances, until you cannot anymore. That little bit of naughty can really add to your experience.

Rip off underwear: Ever watched or read a book where the male protagonist tears off his love interest's clothes and can't wait another minute till he has all of her? Well this is something even you can do too. Not only will the desire smouldering in his eyes, turn you on, but the opportunity to satiate that ravenous carnal need will make the torn panties, well worth it.

This will require a little preparation ladies. Take a sexy pair of panties, and cut a circle in the portion that covers your vaginal opening. If this is too risqu for you, you can even cut a little bit off from the sides. Then when your partner and you are making out, and things heat up considerably, suggestively take your man's hands and run it over the cut portion. Have him rip off the panties and move on to some lustful sex.

Be a tease: Nothing turns a man on as much as the fact that he wants you but can't have you. Play on that innate instinct and be a tease. Wear something sexy that you can peel off layer by layer, right until you are down to your bra and panties. Don't let him have you till he just can't take it anymore and breaks all bounds. You could even stand in your bare essentials when he enters the room and entice him.

Sex outside the bedroom: Another great way to add some kink to your sex life is to try doing it outside your bedroom or where you normally have sex. All you need to do is seductively pull him to another part of the house and let things heat up in that area. It could be your balcony, kitchen, dining table or even your bathroom. Suggestively kissing, caressing and even taking the position you'd like to have sex in helps a great deal in making the entire episode interesting.

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