5 expert tips to keep shaadi ke side-effects at bay!

Don't lose the spark in your relationship due to boredom and responsibilities. Here are some expert tips to help you.

By: Rachel Hercman | | Updated: July 27, 2016 6:12 pm

Read this in HINDIFace it! The honeymoon period does get over. It can either be after a few years or even after you have a baby. With the added responsibility of another person who requires your constant attention and care, it can be quite difficult for couples to keep the romance alive. Rachel Hercman, a psychotherapist specialising in relationships, dating and sexuality at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality gives her expert inputs on how to keep the spark alive even after having a kid.

When a couple enters the parenting phase, their whole relationship shifts. An important thing to remember is that expectations play a tremendous role in how challenges are addressed and embraced. So, if a couple is expecting a child, it’s essential that they understand that things will change. Their time for each other will become more limited, more distracted, and more unpredictable.

Here are a few ways a couple can rekindle the romance:

Focus on creating new memories: Try to limit the nostalgia talk about the way things used to be before the kids were born. Yes, it’s helpful to be reminded of how the relationship once was, but if you’re too stuck in the past then you won’t be able to create new memories. Besides, chances are your memories are leaving out some of the realistic details (e.g. the arguing on your honeymoon, not just the frequent sex), so it’s not very helpful to use the old memories as a barometer for your current situation. That was then, this is now, focus on the present. Try going on a babymoon.

Make time for sex: Be open to new patterns of lovemaking. Maybe now you have more energy to make love in the morning as opposed to the night. Perhaps you don’t have time for long, drawn-out foreplay and need to accept that a quickie can be fun too. Many women feel self-conscious about their post-baby belly, even years later. If that’s an issue; dim the lights, wear lingerie that makes you feel good, and if it’s a serious problem, seek out a therapist who can help you work through the body image issue.

Listen to each other: Since your time together becomes limited, make the time you have together count. Try to keep the technology—your smartphone, computer, television—to a minimum when you are speaking to your partner. It’s hard to compete with that, and it doesn’t feel good to know your partner is listening with one ear but focused on something else more exciting. See how social media affects relationships and sex life.

Get some couple time: If you have family who offers to babysit, take them up on their offer. Even if it’s just going out for a night or a walk around the block, a few minutes of just the two of you can give you some time to chat and breathe. And try not to talk about kids/responsibilities the whole time.

Stay connected via technology: Take a minute or two every day to send your partner an e-mail/text just saying you love them, you’re thinking of them, appreciate their help, etc. A few words can go a long way.

Also read:

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Published : February 24, 2014 9:50 am | Updated:July 27, 2016 6:12 pm

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