Written By: Debjani Arora | Published : November 7, 2017 10:41 AM IST
Mothers receive a lot of attention from onlookers and well-wishers alike. When they are pregnant unsolicited advice comes from every nook and corner and after they become mothers they are body shamed rampantly. Sometimes, people commenting on a mother s body, weight or even her lifestyle do it very innocently, thinking they are imparting some words of wisdom or at least motivating her to shed that pregnancy fat. But it does just the opposite; unknowingly you are subjecting her to body shaming. Here are things only a fat girl will understand about pregnancy.
Every mother goes through a lot of psychological ups and downs before she is finally able to accept her post-pregnancy body. So, saying her things that just make her uncomfortable about her body is not going to help. If you are doing it naively, let me tell you here are few things you should never say a new mother.
Are you following any diet?
Of course, you want to know if binge eating is making her look big and put on weight post delivery. But no, to tell you the truth she might not even have the time to eat one square meal properly. If you never had kids I can t explain why. And if you have your team of tots to look after, you know this is true. So, don t ask her about which diet she is following and what foods she is having in excess. Deep down she is not happy with the way her body has turned out to be. She is extremely guilty about the fact that she is unable to take care of herself. She feels miserable already. The least you can do is talk about diet habits. Here are 12 postpartum foods that every new mother should have.
Have you put on weight?
I don t think there is any woman in this world who went all the nine months of pregnancy without putting any weight. Doctors say that a healthy weight gain is around 10 to 15 kg that happens gradually throughout the nine months. But this depends from one person to another, some put on too much weight too fast. Getting rid of the post pregnancy fat isn t easy. So reminding a new mother that she has put on weight is no news to her. So stop. Telling her that she has put on weight is only going to instil a negative body image which might make her postpartum depression worse. Here are four real mums who confess how they felt the morning right after a c-section.
If Kareena Kapoor can lose weight after pregnancy, you can too
Yes, film actors are our idols and many give us fitness goals. But it is difficult for everyone to ape their lifestyle and fitness routine. I am sure nobody who has a house to manage, kids to looks after, a spouse who needs constant pampering; a job that calls for attention can invest four hours in the gym to get a body like her. Secretly most mothers loathe this kind of comparison-motivation. These superstar mommies actually set up some unrealistic expectations that the society thinks is attainable for all. How can you help? Stop giving her examples of star mommies who lost weight in a jiffy. Here are five common excuses mothers give to avoid exercising after pregnancy.
You have stretch marks, apply some olive oil
This usually comes from a family member or your spouse as no one might be able to notice those marks on your belly up close. They don t go. They stay forever and this is what makes it difficult for a mother to accept things post pregnancy. Stop commenting on stretch marks, those are marks of honour she earned the hard way.
Trust me, most mothers get along well with their new body post pregnancy and reinvent themselves. But it takes time. The best we can do during these times is to just smile and pat her back and remind her that she is doing a great job.
Image source: Shutterstock
