6 things you shouldn't say to a mother expecting for the second time

Your career will go for a toss, your elder child will go on tantrum trips and other things you should not say to a second-time mother.

Expecting a child is a beautiful experience. But among the many things to expect when you're expecting, are insensitive and unsolicited comments or advice from relatives and friends. For a mother who is expecting the second time, going through this again can be even more frustrating. Here is a list of things a mother expecting a second child detests to hear.

  1. 'How are you going to manage?'

Understand this. No mother knows how to answer this question. She has no idea how she is going to manage two kids, a family and a career. She doesn't know if she is ever going to get some me-time or space to breathe. This question will serve no purpose other than to remind her of the stress that she will be facing soon since she is already aware of the trials and tribulations she faced as a first-time mom. Instead, tell her, Everything will turn out fine. This is bound to give her hope and solace.

  1. 'You will neglect your first child.'

A mother s love and attention stays undivided towards her children. It is only a mother s love that knows no biases. She is indeed concerned about how her and her fist kid's life will change as the new one comes. But she intends to try hard to concentrate on all her tasks as a mother and fulfill her duties efficiently. Don't make her anxious or wary of the future. Tell her that she will do as good as she did with her first kid and that you will always help her or guide her whenever she needs you.

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  1. 'Get ready to deal with temper tantrums of your older child who will want all your attention.'

Yes, this can happen and tantrums are not something that mothers with a single child don t experience. But it is important to remind her of all the positive things--those endearing sibling moments that her two children and she will cherish throughout life. Having a sibling has its advantages too.

  1. 'Couple time? What couple time?!'

With one kid, candle-light dinners or romantic getaways is difficult enough. With the second child, it might become even more difficult. It takes a lot of hard work to keep the relationship going after kids come into your life (talking from my own experience). But responsible adults know how to deal with it. Assure the mother that everything may not be the same but things will slowly fall into place. A quick soul-to-soul chat at 2 am after the kids are asleep will suddenly become more enchanting than Saturday night dinner dates.

  1. 'So, it s time to say goodbye to your career.'

Nope. Life may be full of diaper changing and breastfeeding for the time being. But with proper planning, time management and help from other family members, having a career and kids will gradually become manageable. If mothers didn't work after kids, we would not have witnessed this boom in mompreneurs like in recent times.

  1. 'What if your elder child doesn t like the younger one?'

Kids have their own expectations. Your kid might want a brother only and can be disappointed if she doesn t get what she wants. But that s just for the moment. Before you know it, your elder child might turn into a guardian angel for the new member. Here are some tips to prepare your child for a sibling.

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