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7 things you should discuss with your husband before having a baby

Planning to start a family? Discuss these points with your husband first.

A few years into my marriage, I asked a friend about when was a good time to discuss children and parenting with my husband, and her reply was 'even before you start trying to get pregnant'. The life-changing event of becoming parents comes with a truckload of responsibilities, and both you and your husband need to be on the same page when it comes to the baby and sharing responsibilities. It is beneficial for you and the child when your husband is supportive of how you want to raise your child, and vice versa. So here are the seven things you should discuss before bringing a baby into the world.

  • Feeding options: Breastfeeding is the best for both mother and child. Find out what your husband thinks is the best feeding option. For all you know, he might be pro-formula. Discuss about how you both would want your child to be nourished. Talk about breastfeeding, pumping, formula and everything in the universe about feeding a baby.
  • Sleeping options: A lot of couples I know get into headlock over where the baby should sleep. Co-sleeping and putting a baby in a crib or a separate room has its own advantages and disadvantages. Discuss the various options and the pros and cons. Understand how it will affect your comfort and what is the best option to suit you.
  • Parenting methods: Traditional weaning or baby-led weaning, helicopter parenting or child-led parenting -- there's a lot to decide on how you plan to raise you baby. And if you both have conflicting opinions, it will not help you in any way!
  • Stay-at-home or work: A child is a 24/7 work. How do you plan to juggle work and baby? How will you share the responsibilities. What kind of help will you need? How will you get everything in place. If one of you decides to stay back, how will you take care of the finances?
  • Diaper duty: Discuss about how you both plan to divide your duties - changing diapers, feeding the baby, bath and multiple outfit changes. Who takes leave from work when the baby is sick. Who will drop the baby to the daycare and who will pick her up. Get all the plans, or at least the blue-print in place.
  • How to resolve conflicts: As is apparent, there will be times when you both will be at loggerheads. So it's better to have that foresight and have some disaster management drill in place. Figure out how to come at a middle way when you both disagree.

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