4 things couples should know before opting for surrogacy

Here a few things that a couple should know before opting for surrogacy.

The decision to have a surrogate baby is difficult to make. It is an emotional roller coaster and involves a lot of thinking , planning, dealing with emotions, making difficult decisions and a lot more. Also, the backstory of any surrogacy usually involves a lot of pain, heartbreak, lost hope and wavering faith. However, even though deciding to opt for surrogacy is very difficult, if the couple does not work on resolving their issues before initiating the process, the whole experience can be very bumpy for them. And that is not how you want to welcome your baby in your life. Ms. Rekha Sudershan, IBCLC, Masters in Psychology, CBE, Certified Breastfeeding Counsellor, HypnoBirthing Practitioner, Progeny,and Member of Medela Lc Club who has closely worked with a lot of couples opting for surrogacy shares a few things that a couple should know before opting for surrogacy.

1. Don't be bitter: With years and years of battling infertility and a string of disappointments, a lot of couples become very bitter. They also become overly defensive about the whole process. The idea of being dependent on a surrogate makes them even bitter. It is advisable that a couple deals with their psychological issues before approaching the idea.

2. Don't be submissive: Another problem is when the couples bend over backwards to please the surrogate mother. They become very submissive and pander to the surrogate mother. While, it is obviously an amazing gesture that the surrogate mother has agreed to carry your bab, but that doesn't mean you become submissive to her. Maintain a neutral and healthy equation with the surrogate.

3. Understand that the baby might not resemble you: It is just how genetics work. Even with biological children that a woman carries herself, the chances of the child not looking like either of the parents are high. Do not have high expectation of what the baby will look like, or what it's features will be. Be happy and thankful for becoming parents.

4. Plan ahead on how you wish to feed the child: Most of the focus is on getting a surrogate and successful pregnancy. Not a lot of people plan on breastfeeding, or give a though on how they would want to feed the baby. Talk to your doctors and consult a lactation expert too to understand what your options are and make an informed decision.

Bringing a child in your life, no matter in what way, is a life-changing and beautiful experience. Hope you enjoy every bit of it.

Image: Shutterstock

Read this in HINDI

Read this in Marathi