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"When are you starting a family?" This million-dollar question is often posed to the newly wedded in our society. Why not? It is only after the birth of a child that the cohabiting "Mr & Mrs" are conferred the coveted title of being a "family". Pregnancy brings in "good news" as the "Mrs" is considered to be in - "family way". On this International day of families, let's delve into how we lay the foundation of the most important institution of our society that is - "family"?
Traditionally, childbearing has been considered no less than a spiritual act. It entailed expecting parents to undergo a prescribed process of purification of body, mind and soul with the intentions of begetting a virtuous child. Elders in a family had clear defined roles and responsibilities. They collectively participated in rituals (like Garbh dharan, Godh bharai, etc) aimed at providing a stress free environment to the expecting mother. Modern urban parents are unfortunately devoid of these traditional support systems. The organized ancient wisdom about starting a family is now replaced with protracted googling on the internet.
Today, most pregnancies are either delayed or accidental (50%). It takes a great deal of courage for the new parents to accept the "accident of divine will". The lack of direct familial support in a nuclear family setup, excessive work pressures owing to a competitive environment combined with hormonal swing, all prove to be a deadly cocktail for the mothers-to-be; resulting in enormous stress. Instead of being in a place of peace and bliss, new-age moms struggle to negotiate these common stressors in their environment. Few desperate attempts are made, to eat well, exercise, and meditate, but the truth is that in an environment abound with stress and anxiety, the development of the child is severely affected.
Studies show that (globally) 15 million babies are born prematurely every year & 7.9 mn babies are born with serious birth defects. Only 41% of the babies are able to begin breastfeeding within an hour of birth which is considered an important milestone. In India, approx. 55.7% of women experience pregnancy-related anxiety. We are witnessing an alarming increase in behavioral disorders amongst children like ADHD, ADD, Anxiety, OCD. Disorders like dyslexia or Dysgraphia are also not uncommon these days. Learning disabilities amongst toddlers are at an all-time high. From being negligible, a few decades ago, to as high as 10-12% at the moment. This implies that a minimum of 4 students in every Indian classroom struggles to learn.
Well, it's a BIG yes!!
Most parents believe that either destiny or genes program the lives of their children. If you are also in this category then get ready to have your "Eureka" moment. The latest scientific researches have proven that "Parents are the real genetic Engineers". In the words of a world-renowned cell biologist Bruce Lipton - "Maternal Emotions as anxiety or anger or on the contrary love and hope influences biochemically the selection and re-writing of the genetic code of the child in utero. With profound evolutionary consequences on the future". This means that the destiny of the child is being actively shaped inside the mother's womb. Her physical and mental health during pregnancy leaves an indelible mark on a child's personality. Interesting isn't it..? Mothers.. you must be feeling like a Goddess now. Indeed you are, you shape the future of the child and your family and humanity indeed.
Although the West may be Tom-tomming for what I say 'reinventing the wheel' , but hey..! As Indians, haven't we known these facts for ages..? We all have heard our grandparents say that "Happy mothers make happy babies". Our ancient wisdom says- "parents (and not destiny) who are responsible for their progeny".
Culturally, we know about the story of Abhimanyu learning the art of breaking into a secret battle formation called the - Chakravuyha while inside his mother's womb. We also know how mother Jijabai trained her son Shivaji Raje Bhosle for leadership, political acumen, and strategy while still in the womb who grew up to be the greatest Maratha leader ever.
Interestingly, the world has finally woken up to the criticality of parenting before birth., Unicef, World Bank Group, and others have collectively acknowledged "Pregnancy to 3 is critical .it affects health, learning & productivity as well as social and emotional wellbeing. The effects last the rest of childhood, on into adolescence and adults"-Nurturing Care for Early Childhood Development Report,2018.
And we thought it was destiny!!
The most modern sciences of today like neurosciences, developmental psychology, and others are looping back to prove the findings of our Ancient wisdom of Garbh Vigyana ( womb sciences). Science today agrees that improving a parent's physical and mental health before pregnancy reduces the chances of premature deliveries, birth defects, and other birth-related disorders. In fact, such preparations help augment a baby's health and development. Science upholds that babies in mothers' wombs are sentient beings capable of complex functions of thinking, feeling, and experience; It agrees that nurturing care given during the formative period of pregnancy and infancy can enable a child to unlock his highest potential. Also, Abilities created in early childhood have a transgenerational effect on human development.
So, On this International Day of families, I urge you to adopt the Conscious way of Pregnancy. Expecting parents must consciously plan for it. They must strive to consciously nurture their child by providing him a nurturing environment - inside the womb, for his physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being . Also, there is immense power in the ancient Indian wisdom and when amalgamated with the modern-day scientific findings, it becomes the holy grail of " Conscious Pregnancy" . As parents, you not only script the destiny of your child with conscious actions but also the future of your family in particular and society in general.
Remember,
If we change the beginning of the story, we change the entire story!
Happy International day to families.
The article is written by Harleen Kalia - A Conscious Pregnancy Coach, Founder of My Super Baby Initiative, Golden Period educator, Author and Yoga practitioner.