How to have sex after having a baby

You can have sex even after your child arrives, here is how.

By: Debjani Arora | | Updated: October 9, 2014 5:08 pm

No matter the type of birth you had planned for your baby – a C-section, normal birth, water birth, and painless labour – remember sex after giving birth is going to be a whole new ballgame. There are various reasons for these including maternal health issues, baby blues, demands of the newborn, challenges of breastfeeding; everything takes a toll on the new mother. Hence sex, though a pleasurable activity, slips notches down her desire list. Couples are advised not to rush with the idea of having a wild night soon after the delivery. This is because a woman’s body takes anywhere between three weeks to six months to recover from the stresses and strains of both pregnancy and labour, and to settle into a routine with the newborn. Here’s an action plan to get back in the game:

Talk to your doctor: Never shy away from discussing sex with the doctor. Remember lack of knowledge here can lead to severe consequences. Your doctor will give you a time limit to abstain from sex for some time after labour. In case of a normal delivery it could be anywhere from three to six weeks while for a C-section at least three months would be needed to heal the scars. However, it is better to listen to your body and then take an untoward step. Forcing the act when you are not physically and mentally ready to it can make it tiring and also lose your interest from it altogether.

Wait till your body recovers: Everybody is different and so are their healing capacities. Sometimes your body might even take too much time to recover than what is expected, in such a scenario talk to your partner and explain your situation. Never try to have sex before your bleeding or lochia stops. This is a sign that your uterus is still recovering after the detachment of the placenta and sex could lead to infection. If you had an episiotomy wait till your vagina heals. In case of a C-section, it is better you wait. Remember even if your scars are healed, the area might be sore from within and cause trouble during the act. It is best to try some alternative positions so that you enjoy a love making session while safeguarding her wounds.

Keep lines of communication open: Talk to your partner about his expectations about sex after childbirth. Remember it will never be the same again. It sounds harsh but that’s the reality. Ask him not to expect a wild night for at least a year after the delivery. If you can perform any time before that, it’s a bonus. But set reasonable expectations. Keep in mind that the hormonal changes are still reining most of your physiological functions and can make your sex drive take a dip. Especially, if you are breastfeeding, the hormone prolactin can make your drive take a dip. Instead try spending some quality time together so that the father doesn’t feel left out and isolated.

Try to embrace the post-pregnancy body: Many women don’t feel confident with their post pregnancy body, what with all those stretch marks, sagging skin and a loose belly. Remember if you have the vigour for sex and your partner is ready for it too, never let physical attributes be a mental block for a love-making session. Agreed that the body you have before will never come back but that shouldn’t deter you from having sex with your partner or to nurture your body to be at your best.

Use lubricating gels: Hormonal changes post pregnancy can make your vagina become dry and sensitive too. This could make sex painful or in some cases unpleasant. Use lubricating gels or lotions to help you have a better experience in the bed.

Practise more Kegels: These pelvic floor exercises not only help you to have an easy labour but they strengthen the vaginal and pelvic muscles even after the delivery that can help you last longer in the bed with your partner and enjoy sex.

Make love while your baby naps: This is the only time you can steal for the purpose after your baby arrives. However, babies don’t sleep for long and might take short naps throughout the day. Well if that is all you get make the most of your time.

Image source: Getty Images

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Published : August 27, 2014 7:05 pm | Updated:October 9, 2014 5:08 pm

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