Written by Tavishi Dogra | Updated : February 8, 2024 2:43 PM IST
Communication itself is often misinterpreted as the art of effective speaking. That’s why you might have seen people learning the skill of public speaking, orating, use of words wisely. However, communication is 30% about speaking and 70% about listening.
Hearing is just mere words that fall on your ears, and you make some meaning of them, and more often than not, even before the other person completes their sentence, you have a rebuttal to their statement. That is not listening; that is being responsive.
The first is hearing every word from the individual’s mouth strictly verbatim: no word added or subtracted. It is about being present in the moment as you listen to the individual without any past judgements or interpretations. Having a “fresh” conversation whenever a voice enters your ears is the first practice of improving your listening.
Then there are advanced listening practices, too, but we can do them after mastering level 1. More often than not, if you observe, communication breakdowns rarely happen because of the content of the conversation, but majorly because the tone of the other individual or the interpretation you have about that individual is harmful (even if a slight bit).
A statement like: “You are not serious about your life” can mean “Aww, they care so much about my quality of life” for someone and “Who are you to talk about my life?” for another person.
One more practice one can inculcate to nullify the effects of bias in listening is to sit down (with no distractions) and write down a minimum of 10 good qualities about the individual you are facing breakdown with and do this practice for three weeks. Do things to keep yourself in high energy, practice gratitude for that individual, and witness the quality of your communication visibly increase!
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