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Parents want to shield kids from failure, disappointment and stress. However sometimes children become anxious because of unintentionally carried out daily parenting behaviours. Some behaviours such as continually correcting their behaviour or setting too high expectations can impact a child's sense of safety and confidence. Let's take a look at eight ways parents can inadvertently cause anxiety:
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Consistency is a good thing for children because frequently changing rules, reactions or consequences may leave them uncertain about what to expect which may lead to worry and insecurity.
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Comments like 'Look how well your friend is doing' can be positive but they may impact one's self-esteem when these statements are made repeatedly. Children may start to think that they aren't good enough.
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When a child is told to “stop worrying” or “there is nothing to be scared of” it is not done with good intentions but rather can be interpreted as dismissive of the child's fears. Recognizing children's feelings is an important way they can understand that feelings are not intractable and must be addressed.
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Children are highly attuned to how adults react to stress. Persistent parent panic, catastrophizing and high levels of fear may teach children to perceive routine situations as threatening.
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Focussing again and again on mistakes or marks and achievements can make children believe that their value is dependent on their performance. With time worries and fears can escalate into avoidance.
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If you try to avoid all the 'hard bits' and disappointments in everyday life then kids can think the world is unsafe. Teens might not get a chance to learn how to solve problems and build confidence in their ability to face problems on their own if parents are constantly intervening.
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It is a parent's natural desire that children be careful but constantly pointing out dangers, diseases, accidents or the worst of times can make children more fearful and hyper-aware of potential dangers.
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Children may feel responsible for problems that are beyond their control if they are told about financial, family or relationship concerns that they are too young to handle. Children should feel confident that there are adults who can deal with adult issues.
