Why you should NOT allow relatives to parent your child
In most families, especially the joint ones, the mother of a child seldom has any say in how the child is raised. I once came across a mother who said that a child is the property of the grandparents and paternal aunt, and they usually have the last say on how the child is raised. The mother does not really have any authority over the child. The hands-on mother that I am, this does not sit well with me. How can the mother, who should be the primary caregiver to a child, not be important in her life? When I interacted with the child, I could see the damage this set up was doing on her. And this is quite common. Relatives end up parenting children way more than the mother is allowed to, and it is so wrong. Wondering why? Here are some reasons.
- The mother cannot bond with the child: A child needs to bond with the mother through spending time with her. Research has shown that skin to skin contact with the mother is beneficial for the child, so is spending playtime with her.
- Relatives feed archaic beliefs to the child: A boy is supposed to a set of things, while a girl is supposed to a set of other things this is what most of the old generation grandparents teach their grandchildren. You don t want your child to grow up with the same set of rustic beliefs, a part of which is also that a mother is no important in a child s life.
- Parenting involves a lot of mother s instinct: Mothers will understand when I say that half of what we do for our children is purely on instinct. A mother s instinct is very sharp, knowing exactly what the child needs or whether or not the child is okay. By not letting the mother be a primary part of the child s life, you are not letting the mother get in touch with this instinct.
- Remember, mommy knows best: You brought the child into this world. You went through all the discomfort and you love the child more than anyone else. Besides, it is a little difficult to explain but a mother understands the child better than anyone else can. And same goes for the child, a child is most comfortable only with the mother, and this should be maintained. The well-being of your child should be your look-out, and nobody else's.
I understand that grandparents also love the child, and so do other relatives, and you should appreciate and be thankful for that. But the problem is when they start meddling and start taking parenting decisions for you. Be firm and stand up for yourself and your baby.
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