No matter what the age gap between children, parents definitely know how to make things work. Like everything else, no matter how much the age gap between your two kids, it has its own share of pros and cons. We asked Dr. Rajat Singh, consultant gynaecologist at K.D Hospital, whether it is beneficial to maintain an age gap of five years or more between two children. Following are his inputs on the medical and emotional positives and negatives.
Pros
Studies have shown that a longer gap between two pregnancies reduces the risk of a caesarean[1]. If your child is, say five or six years old, when you get pregnant the second time, you can be assured that your child will be okay while family members look after her. Leaving a younger child behind while you are at the hospital can make you feel restless.
Your first child can easily understand the concept of a new baby. Younger children may feel left out, but an older child is more likely to welcome the new baby. An older child will be better placed to understand the needs of the new baby and to react with compassion, empathy and care. They will see the younger one as a sibling that he/she is responsible for and not as competition. The feeling of insecurity will be lesser. Here s how you can prepare your elder one for the arrival of your second baby.
You will be able to give the newborn a lot of time while the elder one is at school. Running errands and other tasks will also be easier. In fact, due to the large age gap, you will be showering your newborn with the same love and care as you did for your first baby since you have got this opportunity after a long time.
Aggression between kids lowers as they age and is highest when the gap is of 2-3 years. Hence, if you have a gap of more than 4 years between two kids, the snatching and fighting over things will be less. You can also try these tips if one of your children is hyperactive.
Childcare isn t cheap. Having two children close together will make it difficult for you to manage expenses. You won t have to buy new baby items like toys, car seats, stroller/ buggy, etc. as you can use the ones you bought for your firstborn. Two children attending schools and university at the same time may make it difficult for parents to afford education for them at the same time. By having a larger age gap, you can spread out the costs associated with raising children.
By the age of 5, most children mature and if you have trained your child a little, it will be a cake walk when the new baby comes. The elder sibling can eat on his/her own or even finish their homework with very little help from you. They can even fetch you water or answer the phone while you breastfeed the baby. From running upstairs to grab a clean nappy to soothing the baby during long car journeys, your first child will have an active role to play in caring for your new child.
As you age, you are losing out on the child-bearing years and hence a very large age gap may lead to insufficient supply of nutrients to the baby and therefore, interfere with proper growth of the fetus in some cases. There can be an increased risk of premature rupture of membranes, according to a study published in the Maternal and Child Health Journal [1]. Delivery or labour complications may increase as you age. Other complications include an increased risk of gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, excessive protein in urine and other perinatal outcomes [2]. Here are 3 reasons why labour can stop midway.
Getting back in the baby mode of changing diapers and staying up all night might be difficult initially after enjoying the freedom of living with a self-sufficient child.
Breastfeeding in front of your child especially, 10 years and older can be slightly awkward. Also, a five-year-old may ask embarrassing questions related to conception and childbirth.
Both the kids won't be able to play together if the age gap is huge. The elder child might like different types of games and may be irritated with the constant nagging of the younger one. It may also be difficult for you to satisfy their needs as the younger one may need your attention and care and the elder one may need help for other reasons.
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References:
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Cecatti, J. G., Correa-Silva, E. P., Milanez, H., Morais, S. S., & Souza, J. P. (2008). The associations between inter-pregnancy interval and maternal and neonatal outcomes in Brazil. Maternal and child health journal, 12(2), 275-281.
Conde-Agudelo, A., Rosas-Berm dez, A., & Kafury-Goeta, A. C. (2006). Birth spacing and risk of adverse perinatal outcomes: a meta-analysis. Jama,295(15), 1809-1823.
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