It all starts with simple, harmless white lies. 'Remember you let me have candies before dinner that time', 'I did not put all my toys in the bathtub!', 'I never walked on the couch with my shoes on', 'I did not eat the last piece of cake'. At the age of 3-5, kids usually lie only when they want to get away with something, or to avoid an angry reaction from your side. As a parent, you catch a lie when you see it, and also advise your child to be honest, but it seldom works. And if left unchecked, this can become in to a habit where the child can start lying about not-so-innocent things, like homework from school, or about the events that happened at school, or about people. If your child starts lying, how do you arrest the behaviour before it becomes a habit? Dr Shuchi Dalvi, child psychologist, shares a few tips on what to do when kids start lying.
Watch your own behaviour: Without realising, we speak a lot of lies in our day-to-day lives, forgetting that our children are watching and learning. Lying at work, after breaking a traffic signal, when gossiping with other people-- we speak a lot of white lies. And it is only double standards to speak your own 'harmful' lies and advice your child against it.
Monitor your reactions: Most of the times, your child lies to avoid your anger or shaming. Children don't realise that lying is wrong, or why you shouldn't do it. If you react badly and loudly if a child confesses pouring water all over the bedroom, the child will definitely lie the next time. What should you do then? The next point explains that.
Be firm, yet gentle: The first rule of parenting should be 'be firm, yet gentle'. Be consistent in what you want to teach your child. Be firm about the repercussions. But also be gentle at the same time. Speak gently with them, hug them and explain what kind of behaviour you expect out of your child. Appropriate disciplining goes a long way.
It is better to stop a lying habit when you see it. If you have healthy communication with your child, it should be easy to convey your message.
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