What to do when your child is THE bully!

If you child is being a bully, these tips will help you address this issue.

People often talk about bullying and how it affects the victim. Naturally, the bully is seen in a bad light and not much is done to understand why a child becomes a bully. It is equally harrowing for the parents of a child who is a bully, because not much support is available for them. If your child is a bully and you want to work towards rectifying his behaviour, these tips from child psychologist, Dr Shuchi Dalvi will help you.

  • Discuss: Discuss the problem with your child, with the intent of understanding why he harasses other people. What you also need to focus is your own behaviour and the atmosphere at your home. Are you damaging your child in any way, can she access violent media or is being abused in some way. If your behaviour towards your child is harsh to begin with, you need to work on rectifying that before you can reason with your child. The intent of discussion should be to understand where this problem is stemming from.
  • Reprimand: Without punishing. When you address this issue with your child, make sure that you drive it loud and clear that such a behaviour is not acceptable. Shaming your child will do you, or her, no good. The rule here is to shame the act, not the person. Once you make your child believe that she is a bad person, she might start believing in that, which can snowball into a bigger problem. What you need to is that help her understand that what she did is wrong and she can work towards being a better person.
  • Discipline: This is as much for the parents as it is for the child. Discipline, practising good manners and being polite are important lessons that you can teach your child only through practising it yourself. If your child starts bullying, start disciplining her towards not repeating that mistake and not bully, or even tease others.
  • Discuss with the teachers: If this is an incident that occurs at the school, discuss with the teachers and take them in confidence that you are willing to work towards addressing the problem. Working together will help you child correct her ways quicker.

Whether your child is a bully or a victim, it is important that you address the issue and nip it in the bud.

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