Written By: Debjani Arora | Updated : October 14, 2015 2:47 PM IST
Being a mother is like running on the treadmill 24/7. As if that isn't enough, we invite unnecessary doubt to make us feel low. Well, all mothers I know feel guilty most of the time. They feel they aren t doing their best even if they have done everything to make their children and family their priority. And, this leads to more mommy-tensions, undue stress and sadness.
Here are some things I feel a mother should stop doing to help herself heal and blossom.
Fretting about being the perfect mother: Seriously, mums stop doing that. No one has written guidelines for being a perfect mother. It is you who has these expectations from yourself. Stop beating yourself up with the weight of undue expectations. Those mothers who seem perfectly decked up, with sparklingly clean kitchens, tidy wardrobes and have their living area free of scattered toys only exist inside that idiot box. You are real, embrace yourself. Trust me; life would be downright boring without the mess around. And few years from now you will miss this mess. It is okay if things are not in their place, and your house looks like a hurricane hit area. Here are 10 things I will never apologise for as a mother.
Compare: Okay, you will say you don t do it, but secretly you are doing that. Don t tell us, but admit it to yourself. If you can t sit with her till she completes her homework, it is fine. You are giving your child the best lessons in being independent that she is going to cherish lifelong. So, stop the mental calculation. It is making you unhappy, and you would pass that to your little one too soon. Here are some life lessons kids teach their mothers.
Snap at kids often: I am not telling you to stop disciplining your kids; it is your right to do so. But if your frustration with others is the cause of your temper, stop doing it. Well, it is human to lash out your child for being difficult when you are upset. If you did it already, don t worry there is scope for improvement. Make up with a tight hug and kiss and admit Mumma didn t mean it. It just takes a little love for them to forgive you. So love often, love always and love wholeheartedly. Here are five things you should not do while punishing your child.
Give up hobbies: You loved to paint, dance or sculpt. So what happened to your hobbies? Who said hobbies aren t for grownups? Yes, you guessed right you are not your priority anymore so you gave them up for good. But before your martyrdom gets to you, invest in yourself. If you stop browsing social networking sites in your spare time, you can really do this. Here is why your child takes your no for a yes.
Make friends only with mommies: Did you notice who are your friends these days? Oh, the mommies who come for play dates and meet you outside your child s school. But why? The world is full of interesting people. Add more colour to your life by interacting with them. Get a different perspective of life. Learn more from people who aren t in your league. You are definitely going to make a wonderful parent if you are doing this.
Blaming self for all the wrongs: You are not to be blamed for your child s low grades, lack of appetite and weight problems. Yes, the whole world thinks you are wrong. But trust yourself, your own instincts; you are your child s guide not the author of her life. Give her enough support and affection to grow as an individual, that s your duty. Here is why the world loves to judge mothers.
Make yourself the last priority: Eating leftovers and not going to the gym are just a few the things that you are doing wrong. All because you don t care about yourself. Wake up mother, if you don t care much for yourself who will?
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