Sibling Rivalry: Why The Elder Child Might End Up Not Liking The New Born

Sibling rivalry can turn for the worst if the parents unintentionally add fuel to it by comparing the kids with each other or choosing one child over another in a particular situation

When you tell your firstborn that you are expecting a baby, chances are they would become super happy but chances are also that they might turn sad. Sibling rivalry can be a real thing. Sometimes it can be conscious, other times it could be something subconscious. It might be a common scene in every house where one sibling hits the other and later apologizes. When there is more than one child in the house, it means they will have to fight for the love and attention of the parents. This creates conflict between them.

Sibling rivalry can turn for the worst if the parents unintentionally add fuel to it by comparing the kids with each other or choosing one child over another in a particular situation.

Siblings become rivals

There are hardly any siblings out there who never had conflicts with each other. At a subconscious level, they do become competitors who compete over many small things.

Richa Rao, a woman in her mid-twenties described a situation when her writing skills were compared with an elder sibling at school. According to her, as much harder she loves her sibling, the thought that she isn't as good as her sister never leaves her subconsciously.

"It was a teacher who made me feel that way. I and my sister have the usual fights like other siblings. We fight over insignificant things. That teacher however left a small crack. She told me that my essay wasn't as good as that of my elder sister. I somehow have internalized it as a reality. Every time my handwritten article is edited, it takes me back to the old days when I am not as good as my sister," said Rao.

Sibling rivalry can take many forms. Some of them are as follows:

1. Verbal fighting
2. Physical fighting
3. Envying
4. Bickering
5. Name-calling

Sibling hating the new-born

As one grows the rivalry between siblings diminishes at least on a conscious surface. However, with children, it is far more prominent. Many times the breaking of pregnancy is not happy news to your elder child who has been used to getting the full attention of parents and not sharing parental love with others. Usually, the newborn gets more attention due to its physical dependence on the parent. The older child might feel suddenly abandoned or lose the centre stage of attention they were enjoying for a long. Mother too would be more engrossed with the newborn who is dependent on her for feeding. Hence, the older child starts harbouring a subconscious rivalry against the newborn.