Separation Anxiety: How Does It Affect Babies And New Mothers?

Is separation anxiety normal? Know how this impacts a child's development.

Pregnancy and childbirth are one of the most memorable and precious moments for every parent, especially for a mother. However, with maternity leaves giving enough time to the mothers and new parents to spend time and enjoy their new arrivals, leaving them back home to fulfil work commitments is never easy, especially when the baby screams and clings whenever you head out. In addition, as new mothers step outdoors, maternal separation anxiety also spikes, and mom's experiences of worry, sadness, and guilt during short-term separations from her baby are at their peak!!

Is This Anxiety Normal?

Yes, separation anxiety is a normal part of development. It indicates that a child is attached to their parents. A strong sense of security will help your baby learn to be an independent toddler. Also, new mothers must understand that separation anxiety in babies and new mothers is a normal healthy part of their growth and development. It gets better in time, and we see this more common now due to the increase in nuclear families.

Dr Lavanya Kiran, Senior CONSULTANT, Obesetriction and Gynecologist & Reproductive Medicine at Cloudnine Group of Hospitals, Bangalore, shares everything about the impact of separation anxiety on kids and moms

When Does Separation Anxiety Start?

It starts in new mothers as they are about to resume work, but in infants, often it starts as early as 4 to 5 months and peaks by the age of 3. It can rear its head when you're dropping your baby off at daycare or simply going to the bathroom. When it seems the baby is finally beginning to adapt, separation anxiety makes a resurgence around 15 months. Often changes in the environment, especially on the arrival of a new sibling, unfamiliar caregiver, parent loss, etc., can also cause anxiety in the child. Babies tend to become more clingy than usual during separation. We see children crying, too sticky, irritable, scared of new caregivers, etc. As the child grows, it learns to accept the new environment (without the mothers/ caregivers) around. The same goes with new mothers where worry for the child increases much, especially in the initial few days. This is normal. It's an emotion of how strong the bond has already been created. Some mothers feel extreme guilt even for brief periods of separation. Anger, rage, irritability, headache, and an increased heartbeat can become an added insult.

How Do We Overcome This?

1. Avoid sneaking out; instead, never sneak away. This can worsen long-term separation anxiety and trust issues: A big mistake is trying to leave when your child is not looking or sneaking away when the child is engaged in an activity without saying goodbye.
2. Don't hesitate to check in: It doesn't matter how often it happens but doesn't be embarrassed to check in throughout the day. It will lessen the guilt of leaving.
3. Naming and addressing your emotions to your partner or friends can sometimes relieve you from stress and guilt.
4. Keep your emotions in check: Hold your tears! If your child sees you upset, that will only heighten his anxiety.

Practice Separation

1. Giving them independence wherein they can crawl and go to places they want to go (of course, with a close watch from a physical distance).
2. Habituating the babies with brief separations like staying in different rooms.
3. Playing games (that encourage temporary separation) like peek-a boo.
4. Gradually introducing them to new caregivers.
5. Comforting them when they're upset.

Giving the new caregivers the list of things you would expect them to do can make you sit back and relax. Sincerely taking time to watch the baby's positive and negative reactions during the separation process can help. Giving space outside your mind can help you and your baby to grow. Happy reunions are essential to reinforcing the parent-child bond and keeping separation anxiety in check.

Conclusion

To conclude, we would say it is normal. Infants experience separation and stranger anxiety, and most importantly, let yourself know that you are not a failure as a parent. No need to feel guilty when you have to leave but communicate that you will be back and ensure they are in a safe and secure space so you can be less anxious as a new mother.