There are many instances when my mom thinks that I take parenting too seriously. I have tried to make her understand that times have changed, and so should parenting techniques. For example, going out to play in the evening every day was a routine for me and people from my generation, but I cannot even fathom the idea of letting my daughter go out to play without my supervision. My reason -- there are too many people on the street or even visiting the housing complex I live in. Delivery boys, house maids, cleaners and others. I cannot put my child at the risk of being exposed to a possible paedophile or kidnapper! Maybe I overthink, but I'm sure a chill runs down your spine too every time you come across news of child molesters and kidnappers.
I spoke to a few other parents about things that our parents did that could be totally unsafe in today's world.
1. Going out to play alone: Shazia Nazir, a Kanpur-based mom says, 'I have such amazing memories of kiddie picnics in the park. Playing on the street and running races with kids of all ages. I learnt cycling from older friends and have petted so many street puppies. I wish I could give my son a similar carefree childhood, but it is just not safe. There are more vehicles on the road, lesser open spaces, not enough parks and fewer people you can trust. So now its only playdates and a family outing in the park'.
2. Leaving the child with a neighbour: 'My mom would always leave me with a neighbour and go to pick my sister from school. I have had so many meals and naps at my neighbours' house that it seemed like I practically live there!' says Suyashi Agarwal, father to a toddler, 'While I do have a few friends that I can ask to babysit my daughter, I have to admit that I would constantly worry about her safety. Not all houses are child-friendly or child-safe. What if they feed her too much candy, what if they are not careful about what they watch on TV? There are so many scary possibilities. I feel our parents did not have to worry much because earlier people did not own as many expensive things that your child could break. Also, there wasn't as much nudity or bad language on TV. Nowadays, you have to constantly monitor your child.'
3. Allowing a child to travel alone: A colleague flew alone from Mumbai to Coimbatore when she was 7-years-old. In remember taking a shared taxi by myself from my house to visit my dad in the hospital when I was 9-years-old. Can we trust our kids to do that? Maybe we can, but we cannot trust the people they will encounter. Moreover, our children are so used to being handheld, they'll never figure out how to travel alone or how to reach a destination.
4. Letting a child eat junk food: 'Eating out was special, because we did that once in 2-3 months,' says Shalini Vilas, mother of two children, 'Now it's a weekly thing, if not more frequent. I have to watch to watch my children's diet like a hawk. It's no surprise that childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes is on a rise! Kids eat more junk food and have limited physical activity. Times have changed and parenting needs to evolve too.'
5. Selecting a school only because it is close to the house: Back in the day, there was only one criteria for selecting your child's school -- how close is it to your house. Now we have so many varieties that it is difficult to decide on one -- there are different boards, activities offered at the school, how 'socially active' the school is, the school's ideology, the kind of teachers in the school, admission procedure, and most important of all -- security at the school! Do you still wonder why parents need to have a plan in place even before the child pops his first milk tooth? -- Parvi Jain, mother to a 5-year-old.
Granted that every generation has their own parenting hussles, but you can't help feeling that our parents had it easy. Handling and raising a child is a herculean task -- both emotionally and physically. So the next time your mom reprimands you for being too caught up in parenting, do not argue. She just won't get it!
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