People usually say that women are often their mother's reflection. What your mother teaches you from your childhood to date shapes your emotions and personality. I believe that you learn life skills more from your mother than from any professional schools. In retrospect I feel that things I learned as a psychiatrist were the teachings that my mother bestowed on me since childhood:
Here is how my mother shaped me as the person I am today.
She was always there: My mother raised four kids, in a new city, with no family or friends, with my father gone more often than not for work. I m glad to report we all reached adulthood with nary a limb missing. In the middle of play, in the building compound, we could run underneath the window and yell for a rupee to buy a treat and out came a flying coin or note. At day s end she would appear in that same window that meant come home for dinner. We knew no matter what, we came first. This made us appreciate hard work and dedication. Here are 10 ways you can teach your child to be a better human being.
She was consistent: My earliest memories are of, my mother answering all our questions, no matter the topic (can God see me now?... now?... now?), no matter the place (in cinema halls), no matter the time (when we should have been sleeping), no matter her work (we always had a house full of guests). Her answers conveyed rational sense 'what was right was always right, what was wrong could be right for others.' This made us thinkers.
She was herself: My mother was on her way to enroll her 2 eldest to a nearby school. In the lift she met a neighbor and shared her plans, who approved her choice of schools as the other option was where our building watchman s son (whom we all played with everyday) went too and she (my mother) wouldn t want that. A few days later to the surprise of that neighbor, our playmate was now also our school-mate and unlike the well-wisher my mother never bothered about the status-quo. This shaped our values. Here are six ways to help your child make friends and value friendships.
She was brave: When the school suggested holding back my eldest sister in the first grade as her English language skills weren't up to par (we had recently shifted from middle of nowhere to the big city, English medium school) she struck a deal with the disbelieving principal that within 3 months her child would be at the top of her class. She came home shaking, prayed to God and found a teacher willing to work with a determined mother. My sister was known for her English vocabulary, essays, poems and penmanship all through her school life. This taught us hope and pride.
She was inventive: None of us could miss the mandatory two glasses of milk per day. If we were late for school, she was willing to come and explain to the teacher how it was our fault, as we didn't finish breakfast on time and missed the bus.This made us responsible. Here are eight things that every mother should teach her child.
She was compassionate: As teenagers discovering boys, fashion and gossip, my friends and I were constantly surprised by, how forward thinking my mother was. For someone with a sareepallu on her head, non judgmental, while holding dear to her traditional views, my mother was non-preachy, while always ready to listen and advice. I could come home, tell her all the secrets my friends shared never fearing disapproval. This helped us define our boundaries and be expressive with our feelings.
She was a partner: Those times, when she would vent about our father, the minute we agreed with her, she d do an about turn and explain why he was right. Whenever, all four of us were sent to unscheduled play-time, that was our cue, our parents wanted to 'talk' without us around. By the time we would be back the house would be back to normal routine albeit a little quieter.This taught us privacy and respect for our relationships.
