Good mental health is paramount for stabilizing constructive thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Mental health also plays a crucial role when we make difficult choices, deal with people or try to empathize with others. But on the other hand, Sheetal Shaparia, Life Coach, explains that insufficient mental health conditions can be extremely hard for us, our partners, and our children.
To begin with, I am not a parenting expert. But I am a mother and I have committed my share of mistakes and learnt from them. I realised motherhood is a trial and error process throughout and the more we evolve as parents, the more we unlearn our mistakes. Here are a few tips that I would like to share about bad parenting habits that most of us are guilty of.
1. Dismissing their queries as nonsense rants
These innocent minds are full of questions and curiosity and the way you deal with it opens up channels for creativity and imagination. Their questions will always pop up when you are dead tired or just want to avoid talking anymore. But answer them, it is the only way you can keep their little brains active and developing the right way. Even if your child asks something as lame as, Why we sleep at night and not in the morning? Answer it. If you have a super inquisitive toddler, then start explaining body mechanism and why humans need to sleep at night. This is an excellent way to introduce the concept of body clock too. Take every question of theirs as an opportunity to help them explore the world.
2. Asking the same question repeatedly
Stop doing that. Are you hungry? How was your day at school? Do you have friends in your class? are questions your child is not interested in answering. When your child chooses not to answer you, this frustrated you. Instead, change your approach. If you want to feed her, ask her, Would you like to taste this palak soup that made Popeye, the sailor strong? or do a role play with her to know how her day was. This is my latest parenting trick that worked really well. Here are four other ways to feed your fussy eater.
3. Giving up too soon
It is not that we fail to discipline our kids; it s just that we give up too soon. Be consistent in your approach whether it is about diet habits or behaviour and manners. Your kid will never take your command seriously if they know that the consequences aren t dire enough. Okay, it doesn t have to be dire literally, but they should know that there is a cause and effect rule to every situation. If you don t set limits like not allowing to see TV or reducing play time if the toys are not put in the toy basket after play, then you are probably raising a brat.
4. Blurring the line between punishment and reward
We do this often. We forget that punishment and reward are two different and distinct things. If your child needs to face punishment for something, don t reward her for the same. In fact, if you do that you are blurring the line between the two. Reward her only when she has rectified a mistake. If you sit back and think, we often reward our child for the punishment she served which actually kills the purpose. Like giving a chocolate after saying no to the iPad just kills the purpose.
5. Not hugging enough
Even when you are angry with your child, don t refuse to give a goodnight hug. It is scientifically proven that hugging can heal the emotional scars better than we think. Hug more, hug often. And it is not just about your infant or toddler, your preteen and teen equally needs hugs to feel secure, loved and bonded.
6. Telling lies
Yes, never lie to your child about anything. This will only make your child believe that lying is a norm and it is okay to do so. She might even grow up to hide every little secret from you. Rather be transparent with her no matter how harsh the truth could be.
7. Not following your own rules
As parents, we always take the liberty to break the rules and that makes it easier for kids to do so. And if you think it is okay for you to stay up late, there is very less room left to discipline your kid about time management and discipline.
8. Talking negative
Talk often with your child and talk about everything under the sun, but be cautious, never let negative emotions come in the way of your talks. Never talk negatively about any person. If you have differences with your in-laws, let that not come up in your conversations with your child. This will affect her judgement of people later. So keep your child away from such thoughts.
9. Not smiling enough
Yes, the stress of everything can wear you down and you might forget the art of smiling at life. But when your tot smiles at you, smile back. As that is the way she is going to perceive the world around her and you don t want to tell her right in the beginning that at the world is a little harsh. Your reciprocating smiles are like hopes for her that the world is still a nice place.
Image source: Shutterstock
