Bhakti Paun Sharma
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Arian s mother talks anxiously about her son. She fights back tears in her eyes as she explains how she has tried everything to bring Arian back on track but he, it seems, has no interest in studies. He is in class 7. He has given up . Every day he promises his mother that he will study but to no effect. He whiles away his time in front of TV, playing video games, munching food, sleeping, lazing around. He sits through his tuition classes and goes to school every day. But he doesn t remember what was taught in school or tuition. He turns a blank face when asked any question from his book. Arian s older brother scored 96% in his ICSE class 10. The parents end up comparing the two kids and so Arian is jealous of his brother. He abuses him and fights with him. Arian s mother also worries that he hangs around with bad friends . They smoke, drink and generally spend money. Arian always got B- or C+ in grades. He was never interested in studies. Arian has become rebellious, argumentative, sulks and uses foul words. However, here are things you must never do to punish your child.
Isn't this a common household scenario? Don't parents with two kids end up comparing the two children, eventually making one feel less accepted? Aren't you always struggling and forcing the child to excel just so he can do well in life or so you can brag about your child's achievements? So what's your parenting style?
What makes Arian or any other kid behave like this? There s a mismatch between the child and family s expectations. Parents want their children to be like someone if not their elder or younger sibling and unfortunately kids like Arian can't match it. They star rejecting their parents as they feel helpless in meeting their demands. Arian is a classic example of a misfit between parent and child expectations about academic performance. At times, a child may not perceive his or her performance in the same way as parents. It is not always possible to align your expectations with your child s. Some parents may find it very difficult to see the world through their child s eyes. Here's why you can't follow the same handbook your parents followed on today's children.
Nevertheless, it is important to identify few early signs of the academic misfit. Dr Sanyogita Nadkarni, Pediatric Psychiatrist at Jaslok Hospital shares with us tips to identify if your child is feeling too much pressure for studies and how you can work positively to improve the situation:
Academic pressure is like any other stress. The most common cause of stress in school-age children is academic performance.
What can you do to reduce your child s academic pressure?
Here's how you can help kids cope with exam stress.
What you should not do to pressurise your child academically,
If your child cannot achieve as per his or her potential,
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