Is your child feeling the pressure of studies? Here’s how you can identify and deal with it

Dr Nadkarni tells you how you can reduce the academic pressure on your child

By: Bhakti Paun Sharma | | Updated: June 24, 2016 9:33 am

Arian s mother talks anxiously about her son. She fights back tears in her eyes as she explains how she has tried everything to bring Arian back on track but he, it seems, has no interest in studies. He is in class 7. He has given up . Every day he promises his mother that he will study but to no effect. He whiles away his time in front of TV, playing video games, munching food, sleeping, lazing around. He sits through his tuition classes and goes to school every day. But he doesn t remember what was taught in school or tuition. He turns a blank face when asked any question from his book. Arian s older brother scored 96% in his ICSE class 10. The parents end up comparing the two kids and so Arian is jealous of his brother. He abuses him and fights with him. Arian s mother also worries that he hangs around with bad friends . They smoke, drink and generally spend money. Arian always got B- or C+ in grades. He was never interested in studies. Arian has become rebellious, argumentative, sulks and uses foul words. However, here are things you must never do to punish your child. Also Read - Psychological stress: 6 simple ways of getting rid of it

Also Read - Teenage depression is common: Know how to deal with it

Isn’t this a common household scenario? Don’t parents with two kids end up comparing the two children, eventually making one feel less accepted? Aren’t you always struggling and forcing the child to excel just so he can do well in life or so you can brag about your child’s achievements? So what’s your parenting style? Also Read - Common childhood illnesses can be traumatic for parents: Know how to deal with them

What makes Arian or any other kid behave like this? There s a mismatch between the child and family s expectations. Parents want their children to be like someone if not their elder or younger sibling and unfortunately kids like Arian can’t match it. They star rejecting their parents as they feel helpless in meeting their demands. Arian is a classic example of a misfit between parent and child expectations about academic performance. At times, a child may not perceive his or her performance in the same way as parents. It is not always possible to align your expectations with your child s. Some parents may find it very difficult to see the world through their child s eyes. Here’s why you can’t follow the same handbook your parents followed on today’s children.

Nevertheless, it is important to identify few early signs of the academic misfit. Dr Sanyogita Nadkarni, Pediatric Psychiatrist at Jaslok Hospital shares with us tips to identify if your child is feeling too much pressure for studies and how you can work positively to improve the situation:

Frequently irritated
Poor concentration span
Avoids any tasks related to studies
Sleeping problems- bad dreams especially about exams, marks etc.
Eats too less or too much especially junk food
Repetitive activities like hand washing or saying some phrases
Argues more than before, tearful or becomes withdrawn and loses interest in other activities
Keeps away from friends especially those doing well academically
Refuses school
Body complaints- stomach ache, headache

Academic pressure is like any other stress. The most common cause of stress in school-age children is academic performance.

What can you do to reduce your child s academic pressure?

Talk- not just studies but other interesting topics too
Talk openly about your strength and limitations. This helps children to understand their strengths and weaknesses
Smile more and laugh at your mistakes. Be funny
Encourage sports and physical activities
Admire people for qualities than achievements

Here’s how you can help kids cope with exam stress.

What you should not do to pressurise your child academically,