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Instead Of A Hard 'No', Know Why It Is Better To Explain Things To A Child

For instance, if your child wants to run, instead of saying, "No, stop running!" say, "It is not safe to run here; we will run in the park."

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Written By: Prerna Mittra | Updated : February 22, 2024 8:06 PM IST

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It is important to say 'yes' to children, but with limitations, instead of saying 'no' all the time. (Photo: Freepik)

Often, when a child is denied something with an outright 'no' and no further explanation, they get frustrated. If it happens continuously, the child may even grow resentful towards the person who is saying 'no' to them constantly. Communication is key. Parents need to understand that children do have a mind of their own, and a very curious one at that. They need to be intellectually-satiated, their questions answered in a polite and patient manner. Children need to know the whys and the hows, and the whats and the whens. Only when they get a satisfactory answer, will they realise why certain things are discouraged. It will lead to them becoming more empathetic and emotionally adept.

The Power Of Positive Communication

According to parenting coach Swati Gupta, it is important to say 'yes' to children, but with limitations, instead of saying 'no' all the time. Imploring parents to change the way they speak, she states that providing a clear and age-appropriate explanation to children can be beneficial, as it helps them understand the reason behind parents' decision. It also promotes their understanding of 'rules and boundaries'.

Examples of Positive Communication

  1. For instance, if your child wants to run, instead of saying, "No, stop running!" say, "It is not safe to run here; we will run in the park."
  2. Similarly, instead of saying, "No, do not touch the cake!", consider saying: "Let us wait for a few minutes before we take a big bite of the cake."
  3. Instead of saying, "No, TV. Finish your meal", you can say, "Let us eat together. Tell me about your new friend in school. We can watch TV in the evening."
  4. Similarly, instead of saying 'no' to kids for wanting to eat biscuits, cookies, chocolates, etc., tell them: "We will have them in the evening. It is meal time right now."
  5. Another instance would be if the child wants more screen time, parents can say, "We need to limit screen time to keep our eyes healthy. Let's play outside for a bit, and then we can come back to it later."
  6. Or, if your child wants to play with toys before finishing homework, you can say: "Let's finish your homework first, and after that, we can have play-time with toys."

In an Instagram post, the expert said that even adults do not like to hear 'no' all the time. At the same time, setting limits with a child is also important.

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Benefits Of Positive Communication

The parenting coach listed the benefits of positive communication on children:

Understanding

Explaining the reason helps the child understand the purpose behind the decision.

Learning

It becomes an opportunity for the child to learn about values, safety, responsibilities.

Communication

It encourages open communication between you and your child, building trust.

Empowerment

It empowers the child with knowledge, making them more likely to cooperate willingly.

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Prerna Mittra

Prerna Mittra

With more than a decade of experience in journalism, this author writes on health and lifestyle topics, from pregnancy to mental health, diseases, fitness, parenting, and such. Previous work experience includes The Indian Express, Network18 Group, Times Of India. For ... Read More