5 ways to help your teenager cope with break-up

Feeling overwhelmed seeing your child going through a break-up? Here is what you can do to help her.

By: Debjani Arora | | Published: May 15, 2017 1:37 pm

Tags: Break-up Love & Relationships Teenage depression

There was a time when parents could control a teenager’s life, but not anymore. Teens these days are adults with thoughts, feelings and emotions of their own. Talking about emotions, you cannot neglect romance. Yes, many teenagers, are romantically involved. Here is what you need to do when your teenager falls in love. Also Read - Don’t let a break-up wreak havoc on your mental health amidst the lockdown

Also Read - Teenage depression is common: Know how to deal with it

We see teenage love culminate into marriage and we also see a lot of break-ups too. So, parents of teenagers need to be vigilant about their kid s relationship matters and should be able to sniff it when things go awry. Having a transparency between teen-parent relationships here is essential. Teenagers don t know about the implications of an affair and it is also true that we can t stop them from getting romantically involved. There are times when they go astray if they have to face a break-up, says Dr Bhavi Mody from Holistic Health with Dr Bhavi, Mumbai. It is imperative for the parents to handle this sensitive phase of their life with care. Here are a few tips from Dr Mody to help parents deal with the break-up period of the teens. Also Read - Higher use of social media associated with depression in girls: Study

1. Don t indulge in a blame game: Well, you might be livid, angry and seething, if you just found out of your teenager s affair after the break-up. The emotions might be the same even if you knew about the affair before. But first things first, give your child a hug, a warm and long one to help her get back on her feet. Don t go on ranting I told you so, or Why did you have to do this, that will only traumatise your child. Instead, just be there, allow her to cling to you and cry and let her speak out about it when she is ready, says Dr Mody. Here are 10 ways how to help your child grow up as a wonderful being.

2. Don t resort to lies: One thing Indian parents love to do is to project their heartbroken kid as a larger than life image. They resort to statements like, You are better than this, You will get someone far better, etc. These are not blatant lies, but they are not eternal truths too. Giving false hopes at this time can set unrealistic expectations about future. Instead, be realistic while providing a shoulder to cry. Have age appropriate, open-ended conversations, like, Let s take a look what we should be doing next? What are the options we have ahead of us? which will help your kid cope and look beyond the broken relationship. Never try to lie to them that things will get better on their own because it will not, says Dr Mody. Know why your no, is always taken as a yes, from your child.

3. Speak your mind: While you have to nurse your child s heartbreak, it is essential that you don t lose your essence as a parent. Even while dispelling courageous words and motivation, speak your mind. Not what your child wants to hear from you. Sometimes you have to tell them the harsh truths and realities of life during this tender moment. Like, relationships are a two-way process and if one needs to move on the other cannot hold on to it. You may also have to tell your child at this point that you don t approve of all that he/she is up to and at the same time tell your kid that you are there to help, says Dr Mody. Remember, helping and indulging are two different things and you as a parent should help your child cope with a break-up not indulge in elements of disgrace. Here are five things you should not do while punishing your child.

4. Assure your support: If you are wondering how to extend your unwavering support if you dislike your child s choices, remember this: You might not like your child s choices or be disapproving of her decisions, but when it comes to a sensitive time like break-up you need to be with your child during the thick and thin, says Dr Mody. Always be watchful about your child s whereabouts so that she doesn t harm herself at this time.

5. Help to learn the art of let-go: Give her the options she has ahead in life, but don t make a choice for her. Lay down the options career, hobbies, a vacation or even therapy which is needed at times. Allow your child to make the right choice for her after the break-up, no matter whether you like it or not. But ensure that you tell your kid whether right or wrong you will always be here when the need is, says Dr Mody. Letting go is the most difficult phase after the break-up, and here you need to be the best guide for her to ensure she embarks on a better and positive journey.

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Published : May 15, 2017 1:37 pm

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