Effective Parenting Tips: What Does It Take To Raise Emotionally Resilient Children?

A child may not remember specific details of their childhood, but they remember how their parents made them feel in a particular moment. Read on to know about some doctor-recommended ways of boosting a child's personality, enforcing positive behaviour, and raising them to be emotionally resilient.

Every parent wants their child to grow up with a strong personality, one with which they can face all of life's challenges and adversities. Parents want children to grow up to be successful in their careers and life in general, to forge meaningful friendships and relationships, be decent human beings and just feel good about themselves. It can also begin with teaching them how to be emotionally resilient. According to parenting experts, having an emotional connection with children and encouraging them always can foster a healthy environment where kids can thrive and meet all of their developmental goals.

Dr Simran Agrawal, a clinical psychologist, shares some important tips on how to raise emotionally-resilient children, which are grounded in psychological research and practical experience. Read on to know about the strategies that can help you nurture a confident and emotionally-aware child.

Power Of Emotional Connection

The doctor says that parents can often find it frustrating when their child acts up, or gets upset about inconsequential issues. And, especially when they are not ready to reason with you. "When a child is upset, logic will often not work until their emotional needs are met. This is called 'attunement'."

"In such situations parents must begin by first acknowledging the child's feelings; they can use non-verbal signals like physical touch, a nurturing tone of voice, and empathetic facial expressions.Then, they can begin to redirect the child with logic," Dr Agrawal states.

Citing an example, she explains that many children feel jealous when their younger sibling gets more love and attention. Instead of dismissing their feelings by saying that you love both children equally, you can choose a more effective approach to first validate their emotions by saying, 'It sounds like you are feeling left out, and I understand that.' Once the child feels heard, they become more receptive to reassurance and redirection.

Setting Boundaries With Love

Children are known to often push the limits, but structure can give them a sense of security. The expert says that as parents, you must set clear expectations that can be communicated with warmth and grace. Help the child to understand the rights and the wrongs. "Boundaries should be firm-yet-fair, not rigid or overly permissive."

When the child throws tantrums, it is important for the parent to shift the perspective; it can make a significant difference to how they respond to the situation. "Instead of seeing a child's resistance as deliberate disobedience, recognizing that they are struggling allows for a more compassionate response. Remind yourself your kids are having a hard time -- they are not trying to give you a hard time. It helps reshape how we interpret and respond to their challenging behaviours," Dr Agrawal guides.

She adds that children need to feel their emotions are seen and valid; but parents must not let those feelings dictate their decisions.

"As a parent, you can acknowledge their frustration, while maintaining a boundary. You may have a valid reason for enforcing a rule, and your child may have a valid emotional reaction to it. Both are true. As a parent, holding space for both perspectives fosters emotional intelligence, trust, and mutual respect."

The Impact Of Positive Reinforcement

The doctor also says that since children thrive on encouragement, parents must recognise their efforts from time-to-time to motivate them and boost their confidence levels. Many parents focus on the child's mistake, but instead of always doing that, they can consider praising their positive behaviour, which can help shape their self-perception and increase the likelihood of them repeating those positive actions. "When children see their choices lead to favourable outcomes, they begin to internalise a sense of accomplishment."

Also, the way a child is praised also matters. Instead of offering a vague 'good job', providing specific praise like, 'I really appreciate how you shared your toy with your friend' can help children understand exactly what behaviour is being reinforced.

The expert concludes by saying that children do not need 'perfect' parents, they need 'engaged' ones. "Spending quality time together, whether through shared meals, bedtime stories, or casual conversations can build a strong foundation of trust. The goal is not to eliminate every struggle, but to be a consistent source of support through them."