Jahnavi Sarma
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Children aren’t born with self-control– they can be taught to develop self-control. @Shutterstock
It is perfectly normal for kids to fight with their siblings. This is a natural part of growing up. Your kids too may be fighting over little things, making up and then fighting again. But there is love involved in all this. In India, we have a festival that celebrates this love between siblings. Raksha Bandhan celebrates the love between brothers and sisters. However, sometimes, things can tend to get a little out of control. You need to be alert for serious rivalry among your kids and nip this rivalry in the bud. Otherwise, it may lead to serious relationship issues later on in life. Today, on the occasion of Raksha Bandhan, let us see how, as a parent, you can identify the subtle and, sometimes, not too subtle, signs that your kids are not bonding well with other.
Children of different ages may exhibit different signs of sibling rivalry. Here, let us look at the various signs that you need to be alert to.
Constant fighting and arguing is a very obvious sign of sibling rivalry. If your kids never see eye to eye in almost everything, you need to do something about it.
Sometimes, after an argument, one child may take out their frustration on objects, pets or other people. This needs to be addressed for what it is instead of brushing it off as a tantrum. The outburst may be due to sibling rivalry.
Competing for parental love is natural among siblings. But if this becomes the constant focus of your child's life, then there is something wrong. Don't encourage such behavior. The best way to stop this is to ignore it.
Often, one child may try to 'look good' in the eyes of parents by 'tattling' about their siblings. If this happens, reprimand the child immediately.
You may never suspect it, but certain regressive acts like bed-wetting, baby talk, thumb sucking, and temper tantrums may also be the result of sibling rivalry.
If your kids fight constantly, it can get on your nerves. Moreover, it is also not good for your kids. Here are a few tips to help your kids get along with each other.
Comparison can hurt and make your kids feel insecure. By comparing their behavior and achievements, you are just fueling the fire of sibling rivalry. Avoid this at all costs.
You need to be firm about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Be firm with each child and never make an exception. Discourage your kids from correcting or criticizing each other.
When your kids fight, never, ever take sides. Your children need to settle their own differences without you coming in the middle. You can help then resolve their disputes. But make sure that you do not support one over the other.
Whenever, your kids play together or spend some quality time as a team, be sure to praise them. This will encourage them to make an effort to get along better.