5 Dos And Don'ts For Parenting Your Teenager

Psychologist Jagriti Sharma shares a few dos and don'ts for the parents to keep a check.

When your child becomes a teenager, it becomes inevitable for parents not to notice the change in dynamics between the child and the parents. This transition is not easy for both sides, but there are many ways in which this relationship can be fostered with love, care and respect. Jagriti Sharma, Counselling Psychologist, Department of Mental health & Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Escorts Hospital, Faridabad, shares a few dos and don'ts for the parents to keep a check.

DO'S:

1. Accept that your relationship with your child will change when they turn thirteen: The teen years are a big transition for the child with social, physical, emotional and mental development. As a result, the child's likes, dislikes and choices will change, and the parents need to understand not to take it personally and let them explore.
2. Listen to your child: As parents, you need to be there for your child and establish a healthy relationship with them. A good listener pays close attention to what is being said, gives them the time to express themselves clearly and offers support.
3. Respect your child's feelings: Respect your child's feelings even when you don't understand them yourself. Help them identify their feelings, acknowledge and help them choose an appropriate response.
4. Be a role model: Your child will most of the time look up to you, and it becomes necessary that you be a healthy role model for them. For example, tell your child to calm down, gently and warmly say it to them rather than shouting at them.
5. Establish healthy boundaries: Boundaries are essential in maintaining clarity and healthy relationships. Be clear when setting boundaries with the child so there is no miscommunication, and try to negotiate with the child to reach a consensus and discuss the consequences.

DON'TS

1. Please don't blame your child: Instead of blaming the child for anything they did, try to communicate about the problem. Understand where the problem stems from and how to act on it collectively.
2. Refrain from getting succumbed to conflicts: Conflicts are inevitable, but it depends on you on how you can manage conflicts effectively. Try to control your impulse to act out and loosen up yourself.
3. Don't overmanage their lives: At times, it is excellent to let them know, learn and manage independently. Please give them the space to have new experiences and let them learn on their own. Allow them to spend some time with themselves to understand and introspect.
4. Do not compare your child with others: Every child is unique and different and doesn't need to behave and act the same way. In addition, comparing your child with other instils a sense of low self-esteem and confidence; instead, encourage and motivate them by setting a good example.
5. Do not hesitate to show your emotions: As parents being emotionally available is very important, so express yourself in front of your child. Let them know how you feel and give them the space to express themselves. It helps the child to manage and regulate their emotions.

Being a teenager's parent can be challenging, but with the right actions and intent, it can be a smooth landing for both the child and the parent.