8 reasons why Valentine's Day makes you depressed

It's natural to be depressed on Valentine's Day, but it's not only because you are single.

It's that dreaded time of the year again; Valentine's Day is around the corner. As if tolerating loved-up couples all year round was not enough, you have to hear them harp about their plans for Valentine's at work, see their photographs on Instagram and resist the urge to puke reading their sweet nothings to each other on Facebook. If these weren't bad enough, you also have to endure Valentine's Day paraphernalia lurking at every turn, mocking your single status. Even innocuous things like heart-shaped balloons, teddy bears, chocolate boxes and red roses look particularly offensive during this time. If you hate Valentine's Day with a rabid fervour, you are not alone.

Valentine's Day brings out the worst in many of us and there's more to do with it than just your single status. Psychiatrist Dr Sanghanayak Meshram explains why the universal day of love fails to create warm and fuzzy feelings in many of us. Here are some reasons why you find Valentine's Day depressing.

1. Reminder of romantic failures

The classic reason why most people hate Valentine's Day is because it reminds them of their single status. Indian society is particularly harsher on single folks since it places a lot of importance on the institution of marriage. No matter how successful you are career-wise, you will still be judged for your unmarried status. Singles have to come to terms with spending the day alone and the thought alone can be depressing.

2. Sky high expectations

According to the doctor, since there is so much hype surrounding the day, couples naturally have high expectations for Valentine's. Couples expect their significant others to surprise them or do something truly special for them. "In many cases, it doesn't end too well for either or one of the partners. Sometimes, their partners don't share the same enthusiasm for the day or they fail to meet their lover's expectations. And sadness and disappointment follow, inevitably," says Dr Meshram.

3. An expensive affair

Come Valentine's Day and retailers rub their hands in glee, anticipating the big fat surge in business. Sales of balloons, greeting cards, flowers, chocolates, jewellery and teddy bears skyrocket around the time with the demand. With the expectations for the day riding high, couples are forced to pay through their nose for products and services that cost much lesser on normal days. This can cause financial anxiety in people. "Although the working people may not feel the pinch, collegians and low income earners may find this time of the year particularly stressful," says Dr Meshram. Read what these real-life couples have to say about long-term relationships

4. Anniversary reaction

Valentine's triggers anniversary reaction in people who have been through painful breakups, divorce or spouse deaths, according to Dr Meshram. Their thoughts go back to the previous year when they celebrated Valentine's with their partners. Any memories of the happy past may trigger intense grief and pain in people.

5. Pressure and stress

There is intense pressure among the couples to make time for each other on Valentine's Day, despite it not being a national holiday. Dr Meshram says, "Valentine's is considered a parameter for love. So cancelling a date any other day of the year won't sound half as heartless as cancelling a date on Valentine's." The manufactured importance of that day can stress working couples out and make them feel obligated to put in time and effort. It can be stressful for people who are trying to balance their personal and professional life.

6. Fear of moral policing

It may sound comical to people in the west but in India, the fear of Valentine's Day also stems from the terror unleashed by pressure groups and political parties who oppose the day on "moral" grounds. "Couples who leave their homes to celebrate with loved ones often get attacked by goons sent by these antisocial elements," says Dr Meshram.

7. Rejection sensitivity

Many consider Valentine's Day as a special day to come clean about their romantic feelings for the other person. "That's why many men and women chose to propose on this day. But people also find the sting of rejection particularly unbearable on Valentine's, mainly due to the romantic connotations of the day," says Dr Meshram. Rejection sensitivity increases around this time and instances of parasuicides or suicide attempts also go up during Valentine's.

8. Seasonal depression

"Sometimes, it has nothing to do with the day at all. It has more to do with the time of the year," says Dr Meshram. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a mood disorder characterised by depressive symptoms. It peaks around the winters and lingers all throughout spring season. Even in February, daylight becomes scarce, since the winter has not entirely retreated. The added sadness caused by SAD can also worsen Valentine's Day blues.

Read expert-recommended tips to avoid depression on Valentine's Day

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