Written By: Nirmalya Dutta | Published : May 11, 2014 12:57 PM IST
May 11 is Mother's Day.
With every passing century, we're moving towards a more egalitarian society where the role of the male and female are getting blurred and heteronormative behaviour (expecting men to do erstwhile masculine things and vice-versa) is no longer the norm. However, the one enduring factor human relationship is the mother-child one and that's why Mother's Day still has a special tug even though corporates have tried hard to take over the day. Here are 5 ways the modern day mother is different but just as awesome as the mums of yore:
She has to be a balance a million more things
While earlier, women were expected to mind the house while guys brought home the dough, the balance has shifted and many women now work so that most urban families have dual incomes. That however, hasn't exonerated most Indian women from the traditional duties she's expected to divulge keeping the house in order, catering to the mother-in-law's whims, cleaning when the maid decides to take a holiday, taking care of the baby, helping out homework, balancing work and a million other things that mothers are expected to do each day. And she manages to do all this with a smile and a resilience that would've shamed Atlas and should require every single day to be Mother's Day.
She is older and more in control
Even though India still accounts for the highest number of child brides in the world (Jai Hind, aren't you proud?), the average urban mum is getting older. The enlightenment which comes with education and financial independence means that she can't be coerced into marrying the first duffer from her caste or sub-caste that wants her hand. She can choose when to get married, who to get married to and who to reject (as Bob Dylan sang, The Times are a changing grumpy dads). This has created a mother that's independent, strong and overall, just more kickass who can do far more for her kid.
She has ART
Even since Louise Brown was born from a test tube in 1978, the assisted reproduction industry has advanced by leaps and bounds. Since then in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) has given the world five million new people and has been chosen by people like Aamir Khan and Shah Rukh Khan to have children. It's no longer a taboo method and women also have other methods like egg freezing which allows her to delay motherhood. These techniques are also a boon for women who are undergoing radiotherapy or chemotherapy for cancer; women who earlier would have no chance to reproduce. While there still remain some arguments about the most optimum age for childbirth, science has given women an option to choose when she wants to become a mum.
She has the power of information and technology
A computer that used to take up a room now sits on the palm of your hands which means that technology has completely revolutionised parenthood and specially motherhood. The modern day woman no longer has to depend on peers or relatives for tips to deal with pregnancy and parenting. From blogs to websites that document every single thing you ever wanted to know about motherhood, the modern mother can connect far more with her baby. She can reach out to other women who are at the same stage, get tips from those who've already been there, reach out to and read expert tips and deal with motherhood and parenting in a far more scientific way.
She can be single, a lesbian or not even a 'she'
While a heteronormative society would expect a child to be raised by a mother and a father, the modern day mum no longer has to adhere to those norms. Of course, society will still have its say but then they're the same people who believe that beliefs of magical people in the sky are more important than the real choices of people living in the real world. A mother can now be a single woman who has a child out of wedlock, a divorcee (there's no need to put up with swine anymore), a lesbian couple or even a gay couple (even two men can raise a children). Before all the right leaning people get agitated and switch off their Twitter trolling to come beat us up for allegedly tarnishing 'Indian values', we should point out that research has actually shown that gay couples might make better parents. Gay parents 'tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents,' said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University in Massachusetts who researches gay and lesbian parenting told HuffingtonPost.com. So even if a mother's not a 'she', there's nothing to suggest that the child would be deprived.
But the one thing that no amount of progress can change is the fact that the she loves her child more than anything in the world. So we wish all the mothers and fathers who're trying to be mothers, a very Happy Mother's Day.
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