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When love is pure and honest, sex becomes its greatest expression and a natural progression of romance. But if two people are not on the same page when it comes to sex it can create a rift in the relationship. Sometimes this could be the reason for your relationship to hit a low. When we talk about women and her sexual desires there are a lot of factors that we need to consider the hormonal changes that set in mood swings, anxiety, general stress, anaemia (most Indian women suffer from this condition), premenopause and menopause all of this can have an effect on her libido and sexual performance. But today we are not talking about them we are going to talk about a very specific issue vaginismus which makes sex painful.
Vaginismus is an involuntary condition where the pelvic floor muscles contract and clamps the woman's vagina shut. This makes penetration difficult. Women suffering from vaginismus find it difficult to insert tampons, finger, gynaecological instruments or even her man's shaft. If at all any attempt of penetration is made it can lead to excruciating pain. However, this condition is treatable through the treatment is challenging as there is more than one factor that could be a cause for this condition. The fallout -- it hampers the couple's sex life. But men, don't lose heart. As much as you want to enjoy action in bed, she does too. But somehow her body betrays . If you know that your partner is suffering from this condition, there are ways in which you can help her:
Look for a treatment: If your partner is suffering from vaginismus help her to get treated. Treating vaginismus can be a complicated process. It might involve psychological sessions, therapies, medications or even injections like Botox. Whatever form of treatment is suggested, be patient with her and support her. Know that just like you even she is suffering in silence and probably her share of sufferings are even greater than yours. Most women secretly nurture guilt for being unable to bed with the male partner and this makes them more depressed and pushes the couple even more further apart. So, take care to be on the right track with treatment and therapy so she can get over the resistance and you both can look forward to enjoying a fulfilling life.
Enjoy other forms of intimacy: If sex isn't happening there is no point brooding over it or playing the blame game. Instead, enjoy other forms of intimacy cuddle, hug, kiss explore each other and satisfy one another in every possible way that you can.
Be patient and don't cheat: Men, we know this, it happens when you are not satisfied or unable to have penetrative sex you might want to look for a fling or have an affair outside the marriage to fulfil your needs. But remember this would be too selfish of you to do. Vaginismus is not a rejection of sex it is in fact, inability to have sex. All we can say is be patient and help your partner get treated for the same. Most women who suffer from vaginismus are able to be cooperative in bed after they undergo treatments. So, don't cheat.
Know perfect sex doesn't mean happiness: If you are too held bend on having sex with your partner and she is not able to yield which makes you frustrated, remember sex is not an entitlement which is guaranteed in a relationship. It is a gesture of love when agreed upon by two people. So, don't measure the metrics of your relationship with the yardstick of sex. In fact, value your partner for who she is and the warmth she brings into your life. Other things can be taken care off.
Help her feel the pleasure: Women who suffer from vaginismus still have sexual desires. So, help your woman to experience the same. Remember in vaginismus the vagina goes into spasm involuntarily but your woman can also orgasm through clitoris stimulation. So talk to her and know what she wants being intimate can also help a woman open up and relax her enough to counter the problems of vaginismus too. Repelling each other physically can make it even worse for the couple and make the relationship hit rock bottom.
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