Chanda Kochhar's letter to her daughter is long, boring and there is nothing you can learn from it

Chanda Kochhar wrote a letter to her daughter and we are wondering why.

What do I feel when I read Chanda Kochhar s letter? Nothing. The only thing you would marvel at is her ability to not feel stressed or the value she places honesty and fair play (going by her own claims). Apart from that, it is the usual homily to the kind of superwomen working moms are supposed to be.

Where is the father s letter to his daughter?

Chanda Kochhar s letter is like any popular women s day speech: Go out have a great career. Come home be a super awesome wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Thank husband and husband s family for support. What s new? A real woman in a real world will be shown this letter by her very real husband and told if Chanda Kochhar can do it, why can t you? Unfortunately, this mom won t have a letter from Chanda Kochhar s husband to show in turn. That is never the case, is it?

This letter is part of the machinery that expects women to do it all, sorry not to do it all (because that is impossible) but to die trying. When you watch women in trains chopping veggies on the way back home, you realise how hard they struggle to keep afloat. And the ones looking on from the first class compartment have it relatively easier because they can afford a maid but it is a bed of roses for them either. Being a working mom is not easy and not bringing work at home and being just a mom at home is tougher.

Why the working moms guilt, again?

I totally get the guilt tripping over not being a part of important milestones in your child s life. But, when you put it out in national media, you are not helping any working mom out there. Again it is all about raising expectations that you were supposed to be there for everything. Wonder whether her husband had the same misgivings or pangs. (Just wondering because she mentions that her mother raised all of them equally.) Here's are 10 things for which a working mother should never apologise.

And why is this letter only to the daughter and not son?

This is as sexist as it gets. I am sure going to get panned for being negative about a superfluous piece of fluff about strength and equanimity. But, she doesn t say a word to her son and praises her daughter for standing in-lieu of mom for her son. Had her son been the older one, I wonder whether she would have penned this note (wish it was one, nobody told her about keeping it brief I guess.)

Don t get me wrong. I admire the woman for her achievements. I just resent the fact that she doesn t keep it real. I just wish more and more Indian women came out and spoke about their struggles for real. This is why the scene from the movie Ki and Ka where Jaya Bachchan asks Amitabh Bachchan whether he would have been ok with her waving to the fans today instead of him, had he supported her career, really hits home. She goes on to tell Amitji that it is all grand to tell in retrospect that he would have been ok with it because he doesn't have to go back and change anything. It is things like this we should be discussing instead of telling young women they can have it all and setting them up for more strife in a world filled with enough worries and stresses. This is why I like this honest letter about why this woman can't be like her mother.

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