Nayonika Chakraborty
... Read More
By clicking “Accept All Cookies”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Cookie Policy.
Written By: Nayonika Chakraborty | Published : August 4, 2019 5:01 PM IST
Memory is the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information. © Shutterstock
Ignorance is bliss. The more you remember, the more problems it seems to bring. Even if you cannot erase a particular memory, it is possible to voluntarily forget certain existing ones. But forgetting by will has never been easy and now we have science to prove it.
By definition, memory is the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information. But sometimes, memory is too big a burden to bear. A bad memory is not like a broken leg. The pain will not go away if we give it some rest or ignore it.
A movie fanatic might remember the infamous lines from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, "Blessed are the forgetful, for they get better even of their blunders." Everyone who has had a past to speak of will definitely also have a few incidents that they want to erase from their memory. Fortunately, it is in your hands to try and forget them.
But also, unfortunately, forgetting a particular memory turns out to be a complex brain intensive task. This means that your old 'this too shall pass' or 'everything will eventually go away' tactics may not work. You instead might actually have to think about whatever it is that you want to forget.
A study published in Journal of Neuroscience says that the brain has a much harder time forgetting experiences than it does remembering them. For the research, a group of healthy adults were shown pictures and told to remember or forget each one. Researchers used neuroimaging to track brain activities. It was noted that remembering was accompanied with only moderate brain activity. Forgetting exhibited an increased brain activity.
Study author Tracy Wang notes in the journal that if brain activity is too strong, it will end up strengthening the memory. But if it is too weak, the memory will remain unchanged. Hence, moderate brain activity is essential in this process. Only when you reach the spot in between the two extremes will you forget about the memory later.
It could also be that when you try too hard to forget something, you do not actually subconsciously want it to disappear completely. Psychologists asked people if they would take a drug that would make their traumatic memories vanish in a 2011 study published by Applied Cognitive Psychology. Eighty-two per cent of the people responded with a 'no'.
Wiping the slate clean is harder than filling it in. But with a few trick and tips, you can do it. Here, we tell you how to forget bad memories.
"The best way to put your painful memories to rest is to deal with them head on by accepting them," says Lucknow based psychiatrist Prachi Vaish. She also suggests that you should be fine with the fact that the incident happened and feel all your emotions freely. Do not try to suppress the memory too strongly and rather admit to yourself that the memory is a part of your reality. You can make mantras for yourself to repeat it whenever you are reminded of something you do not want to like, "it's okay, it's all gone now" or "it will be fine, that incident does not define me". At the end, you are the one who has to make proper judgments on what thoughts to focus on and what to let go.
Do not live in the past. When bad memories come back, try not to dwell on it too much. On the contrary, focus on your present, concentrate on what you are doing or seeing at the moment. Keep yourself busy yourself with something else till the memory is does not bother you anymore. You can also pick up a hobby you love. This will keep your mind stimulated and distract you.
When you are tormented with continuous bad memories that you would rather forget, try pairing that memory with a good incident. With enough time and practice, you will be able to switch your mood whenever you are reminded of that memory again. Altering your memory to only remember the parts of an event that made you happy or did not bother you might help too.
Dr. Prachi Vaish also says, "Once a memory is repressed and if it is traumatic, it is sure to spring up in another form in another aspect of life. It could become a personality trait, a defense mechanism used for defective coping or even a physical ailment with no apparent biogenic cause". Be it talking to someone you trust, joining a support group or trying therapy, ask for help if you need it and do not let your past bad memories consume your present and endanger your future. Do not hesitate to consult a professional if you need more than what a loved one can provide. Receiving psychotherapy is a great option if you are haunted by your memories often. A specialist in this area will be able to help you identify your triggers and move on from them.
Avoid resorting to drugs or alcohol to find refuge. If you are experiencing anxiety, irritability or depression, using alcohol to curb it will only increase these symptoms. Escapism through drug or alcohol abuse may also lead to addiction. You might end up turning to it whenever you are reminded of something bad. Dr. Prachi Vaish advices, "If you really want relief, you have to breathe through your painful memories. Sit still and let the emotions and memory wash over you and keep breathing through it. It's like a wave. It will subside. And once you've done it enough times, the pain will fade and so will the strength of the memory."
