Written By: Mita Majumdar | Updated : April 5, 2016 12:07 PM IST
Television actress, Pratyusha Banerjee, 24, committed suicide when she was at the peak of her career and was allegedly planning to get married to her boyfriend, Rahul Raj Singh. There are speculations that she might have been depressed, which was the trigger for the suicide. Jiah Khan, the Ghajini girl, reportedly committed suicide by hanging herself at her residence. 40-year-old model-cum-actor Shikha Joshi took her life by slitting her throat with a kitchen knife. The popular singer-musician Kurt Cobain committed suicide by shooting himself in the head at an young age of 27.
Suicide doesn t seem to be restricted to celebrities. So very often we read about the farmers committing suicide,or, young students taking their lives because they haven t fared well in examinations. Love affairs gone awry, domestic violence, illness -- all of these can cause a person to take his or her life. If you are a parent, be wary of your child speaks about death and afterlife. Chances are, your child could be suicidal.
According to the National Crime Records Bureau, 18 percent of all suicides are because of illness. More than 25 percent of suicides are directly connected to marriage related issues and family problems.
What drives people to self-destruct? Says Dr Todd Kashdan, psychologist and senior scientist at George Mason University, You might be as surprised as me that hopelessness, amount of pain, and the belief that death will end the pain were common themes in the suicide letters .
He adds, In general, people do not commit suicide because they are in pain, they commit suicide because they don't believe there is a reason to live and the world will be better off without them . [2]
Dawson McAllister, founder of TheHopeLine, too feels the same way More than anything, I believe people who commit suicide feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want the pain to end, but they can t imagine it ever going away. They can t see the light at the end of a very dark, lonely tunnel. Have you ever felt this way? [3]
Statistics however show that most people with suicidal tendencies or who have committed suicide have a mental disorder such as depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder. Stressful life issues such as severe financial problems or relationship problems too can give rise to suicidal behaviour.
Other causes are
According to the World Health Organization Although mental disorders are considered a risk factor in Asian countries as well, there is evidence that they are not as frequent in suicidal behaviours, but that impulsiveness plays a greater role . [1]
Impulsiveness, depression, or for whatever reason, if someone says to you things like I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it s my only choice anymore. I know it s not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can t move on with this life anymore , do not ignore the cry for help.
There is no script to deal in situations like these. Each person is different. Each situation is different. Here are some general tips on how you can help a person who is suicidal.
Take the suicidal comments seriously
When a person says he or she is going to commit suicide, take them seriously. Assuming that the person is saying it for the purpose of seeking attention may prove disastrous.
I told the staff I was suicidal. I told my therapist I was suicidal and showed her the note I d written. I told the psychiatrist I was suicidal and my plan. They all ignored me. Other patients told the staff I was suicidal. My parents told the staff I was suicidal. But the staff ignored me until I made an attempt. Then they had the nerve to ask me why I did it. Becky Oberg, undergoing treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. [4]
She survived, but not every person trying to commit suicide will!
Warning signs include clues such as
Listen attentively
Listen attentively to what the person has to say. Don t interrupt or ask question when they are talking. Don t invalidate their feelings; that would make their condition worse. Try to be as supportive as you can, and try to understand what is causing the suicidal feelings.
A 16-year-old from China decided to step out instead of facing a life of torment and misery. He climbed over the railing of a pedestrian bridge and prepared to jump. Waitress Liu saw this and followed him to the railing, and did the only thing she could do. She listened. She listened as he listed the endless problems tearing his family life to bits, and then she leaned forward, hugged the boy, and gave him a kiss. And the boy suddenly decided that maybe life was worth living after all. All Liu had done was something no one else had ever thought to do: She d given the kid her full attention and really listened. And that little slice of kindness was all it took to save his life. [5]
Show the person you are deeply concerned
Be genuinely concerned. A suicidal person is vulnerable and needs to feel that you are really concerned. Offer words of support. Be gentle and caring. Don t say
You are stupid.
Don t be foolish, it s not that bad!
Committing suicide is a sin .
You are so manipulative, you have so much to live for!
These words will only add to their pain. Talk constructively about life; this may reduce the risk of suicide. Don t be judgmental. And don t be shocked, or if you are, then try hiding it. The look of shock on your face would distress the suicidal person further.
Sometimes it is okay to talk openly about suicide. Asking question like Why do you want to commit suicide? or How would you do it? and When are you planning to do it? will give you the idea about what is going on in the person s mind. If they have planned it out in detail and even know when they are going to do it, the risk is extremely high. In that event, talk to their immediate family or relatives. Call a helpline. Take the person to a psychiatrist, mental health hospital, or the family doctor. If that does not seem feasible, call the police, who is called the first responder as per WHO norms.
Try to control access to the means of suicide
Ensure that the person does not have access to medications such as sleeping pills, pesticides, or other toxic substances, knife, or other such means of suicide. However, if the person is talking about using firearms, call the police. Don t then try to handle the situation yourself. Respond quickly in a crisis.
Follow up with the suicidal person
Continued support is important. Visit or communicate with the suicidal person on a regular basis. Make sure they are okay. It is possible that they might attempt suicide again. Be available for them.
References
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