What NOT to say to a depressed person

A simple statement can worsen the condition of a depressed person. Here are a few things you should avoid telling them.

By: Rachel Hercman | | Updated: June 5, 2014 4:56 pm

Depression is something that is quite common these days but it is seldom seen as a serious health problem. Many people who show symptoms of being depressed such as: Also Read - How to get over a relationship -- tips to deal with a break-up

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Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Fatigue and decreased energy
Persistent sad, anxious, or ’empty’ feelings
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

These people are often advised by the people around them thinking it would help them cope with the situation. But the fact is, sometimes, such statements can worsen the situation. It is therefore important that people pay close attention to their words when dealing with a depressed person. Rachel Hercman, a leading psychotherapist, lists out some statements which shouldn’t be said to someone who’s depressed. Also Read - 5 myths about consulting a shrink or therapist busted!

Get over it: If they really could get over it, don’t you think they would have? When you’re going through a rough patch and someone tells you to ‘get over it’, what they are essentially telling you that whatever cloud is hanging over you is something you can control. However, when a person is depressed they often feel powerless over making any changes. A man who struggled with depression once shared with me that when he gets depressed, it feels as though he’s driving on the highway but passing all the exits that he was supposed to take. Aside from the pain of feeling like he’s missing all the turns and driving aimlessly, there’s a sense of no longer being in the driver’s seat, of something overtaking him and making him a passenger observing his life passing him by.

At least you still have____: While it may seem like it could be helpful to remind a depressed person of all the positive things they do have in their life, the reality is that when someone is depressed it is often difficult to access positive feelings and the positives in their life tend to get blurred out. And even if they can recognise the good things they have in their life, it doesn’t change the fact that depression can have a monopoly on a person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions, and can often times defy logic in the most intelligent of people.

Maybe you just need a good vacation: Getting away can certainly be helpful in clearing one’s mind and changing scenery. However, where you go you take yourself with you, so there’s only so much you can expect a new surrounding to do for depression. Can it help? Sure. But it is not a cure, and most people can’t live permanently on vacation.

It is important the person suffering from depression gets the right treatment and therapy at the right time for him to overcome the condition and lead a healthy and fulfilling life. Read more on the types, causes, treatments of depression.

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Published : June 5, 2014 4:44 pm | Updated:June 5, 2014 4:56 pm

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