Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Biologically, levels of hormones such as testosterone are believed to affect sex drive; social factors, such as work and family, also have an impact; as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress. Sex drive may be affected by medical conditions, medications, lifestyle and relationship issues.
Most contraceptive pills inhibit the production of androgens, which directly impact the level of pleasure we experience during intercourse. If you’re going through a sexual dry spot and you feel that the contraceptive pill is the culprit, speak to your doctor who may be able to suggest an alternative. Sleep is a common sex drive saboteur for both genders. Researchers from the University of Chicago found that men who get less than five hours sleep per night have lower levels of testosterone, which leads to a lack of desire between the sheets. Body image issues make for a sure-fire short circuit in terms of your sex drive. If you’re getting naked with the lights off, or not getting naked at all, it’s time to stop filling your mind with negative thoughts about your body and start focusing on what you love about yourself.
Ladies, mood swings, vaginal dryness, hot flushes and depression don’t exactly set the mood for a night of hot sex. Add to that your decline in oestrogen levels that prevent blood flow around the pelvis area and it’s probably feeling pretty dry ‘down there’, meaning that sex has become painful. While lubricants may provide short term relief, you could speak to your doctor about alternative solutions such as hormone replacement therapy. Once you’ve had children, it may seem as though the romance and intimacy in your relationship has been swapped for stress and fatigue. Caring for babies and/or children makes you exhausted, which is a recipe for a no-sex night. Try and set aside one night a week to stop worrying about the chores once the children have gone to bed, and spend time as a couple instead. Both men and woman may suffer from performance anxiety. When men are anxious about sex, it can cause erectile dysfunction which, in turn, can make women feel inadequate. Speak to your partner about what he/she likes you to do to them and try it out.