Do you think that the suspicious brown spot on your face is cancer? Do you carry blood pressure medicines even if you are not diagnosed with hypertension? Are you convinced you are dying? You are probably a hypochondriac, like the pill popping giraffe Melman from Madagascar. If you have a pathological fear of diseases and death, you may have done most of these things at least once in your lifetime.
You trust Google doctor over any other doctor: The first commandment in a hypochondriac's book is "Google thy symptoms." From a headache to a fever, you never visit the doctor without having done your own research first.
You have self-medicated: You can't wait to get to your doctor; that might be time consuming and you may die in the meantime. So you do your own research on the internet and medicate yourself. No medical degree required.
You have befriended your chemist: He's literally your drug dealer. Why wouldn't you want to be friends with him? After all, he doesn't ask for prescription when you ask for statins.
You know your diagnosis even before the doctor does: You have read up about your symptoms on the internet. So your favourite thing to do is to annoy your doctor with your own diagnosis. No wonder doctors have a shoot at sight order against you.
You don't trust your doctor: Even if he puts you in the clear, you are convinced he got the wrong diagnosis. It's like his medical degree is no match for your internet wisdom.
You are constantly looking for people to discuss your health problem with: Because your friends no longer entertain you. You have already worn down their ears talking endlessly about your medical issues. No wonder the hang up the minute you start ranting about your health problem.
You have prepared yourself for your death at least once: You have overestimated some of your health problems and made peace with the fact that you are dying. In time you realised your fears were unfounded, but you never learn.